The following appeared in a letter from the manager of a rock band named Double Rice.
"One year ago, tickets for Double Rice's concerts in stadiums around the country took, on average, at least 24 hours to sell out, if they sold out at all. But the band has been enjoying a surge in nationwide popularity among 14 to 25 year olds, and the 30,000 tickets for a recent concert in Megalopolis sold out in 12 minutes. Clearly the ticket sales in Megalopolis are a result both of the band's increased popularity and of the advertising campaign run in Megalopolis by the Ad Lib advertising agency. Thus, in order to ensure that the band's success in Megalopolis is repeated across the country, the band should hire Ad Lib to duplicate the Megalopolis ad campaign on a nationwide scale."
In this editorial, the manager recommends that the rock band named Double Rice should hire Ad Lib to establish the Megalopolis ad campaign on a nationwide scale to guarantee the band’s success across the whole country. He also claims that the popularity of the band among people of the nation has experienced an abrupt increase. To support this recommendation, the manager cites that the band has sailed a great number of tickets in a very short amount of time that shows its great popularity among the residents and also its state of being well-introduced by means of the Ad Lib advertising agency. Close scrutiny of this evidence, reveals that it lends little credible support to this argument.
First, the quick sail of the tickets of the recent concert does not substantiate a sudden increase in the band’s being liked by people. Since, this propitious situation might be due to the seasonal features of that region. For example, in the vacation or holidays periods of time a considerable amount of people including high school and university are searching for recreational activities to spend their idle times. And according the appropriate time of the concert they might have resorted to participate in this concert despite the fact that they are not fans of the band or does not really like it. Also it might be the reason of the good situation of the region for the tourists’ visit which can have a great influence on the increasing number of the attendees of the concerts. Therefore, without ruling out these possibilities, the author can not evaluate this success based on the popularity of the band.
Second, even if the band has gained this popularity it can not be attributed to the Ad Lib advertising agency. Since the editorial does not carry any substantial evidence to prove the good performance of this agency toward advertising the band among the people, and they might have get acquainted with the band by chance or by other advertisement measures.
Third, this success in Megalopolis can not be attributable to the whole country for several reasons. One reason is that the tastes and interest of the populace of Megalopolis and their great participation in the concert might be very different from the people‘s enthusiasm of other regions of the country. And another reason is that even if the advertisement of the Ad Lib agency in Megalopolis has have a great effect on the nation, it can not be an authentic support for the success of this agency on a nationwide scale. For instance, this agency might have not be forced to afford extravagantly costs of advertising in this region but must undertake a lot of high expenses and difficulties in other nations and can not keep on working well.
In sum, this editorial fails to convince me that the ad agency has caused the probable popularity of the band or even the advertising agency can be successful in introducing the band all over the country. To strengthen this argument the author must account for all other factors that might influence the increase in sail of the tickets. And to better assess the strength of the argument I would need more information about the features and musical interests of the residents of Megalopolis in comparison with other region’s populace. Also to bolster the belief in the aid of the ad agency, the reliable evidence of the efficiency of this agency in Megalopolis through a considerable amount of time should be demonstrated and also it must be proved that this agency can work productively in other nations too.
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argument 1 -- not OK. Need to argue against the Ad company, not the band.
assuming that the Megalopolis success was in fact due to DR's popularity there, the manager overlooks the possibility that Ad Lib's campaign had nothing to do that popularity. Perhaps the band recently became overwhelmingly popular due to a new hit song or to a revival of the type of music DR plays. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the manager's claim that Ad Lib's efforts are to be credited for the Megalopolis success.
argument 2 -- don't ask evidence or data.
The manager also overlooks the possibility that one or more factors other than Ad Lib's efforts or DWs popularity were instead responsible for the Megalopolis success. For instance, perhaps DR shared the bill at the concert with another band, whose appearance was the actual reason for the concert's success. If so, this fact would seriously weaken the manager's claim that the Megalopolis success is attributable to Ad Lib's efforts.
argument 3 -- OK
flaws:
No. of Words: 598 350
For issue essays, around 450 words, for argument essays, around 400 words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 598 350
No. of Characters: 2885 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.945 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.824 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.78 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 200 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.271 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5