The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.
"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."
The head of the High School board in town of Saluda via a memo gives advice in support of Mr. Charles Schade employment. He argues that Mr. Schade resume is a positive proof on be halve of his possible effectiveness in High School of Saluda. The chairperson as evidence to support his claim, alludes to Mr. Schade work as music director at Steel City High School for 5 years. He asks board members to pay attention to achievement of Steel City High School’s band in wining 3 regional band competitions in course of his employment. Moreover, he refers to renewal of the quality of the music facilities and musical instruments in Steel City High School during this time. The chairperson asserts that given aforementioned facts, hiring Mr. Schade to plan and manage the musical curriculum for the all the students in High school of Saluda will be a good decision. This arguments rests upon a set of assumptions, that their reliability is doubtful.
One of the two main assumption which support the chairperson claim is this hypothesis that prosperity of Steel City High School’s band in regional tournaments is direct result of Mr. Schade efforts. However, we must keep in mind that this success can be the fruit of other factors. There could be a whole set of other criteria that we must consider. Perhaps the low level of regional competition? This can very well lead to success, even for a band without enough competence. It is even possible that this accomplishment is the result of recent increase in public awareness and attention to music in Steel city. A rise that convinced parents to pay more attention to students’ outcomes in competitions and persuaded them to ask for more.
Another problem regarding this request is that the writer of the memo assumes that the remarkable improvement in quality of the musical facilities and instruments in Steel High School is due to Mr. Schade trying. Nevertheless, we must keep in mind that there are other explanation for these modifications. These upgrades could have been reached as a result of increase in public services’ budget through the whole country, or they could be outcome of anonymous donation to school. Even we must not remove the possibility of charities aid.
A third problem that must be considered here is this conception that the situations and conditions in these two High School are the same. Even if we accept Mr. Schade contribution in Steel High School’s achievements and improvements, we must not forget that we are faced with two different school. It is a possibility that these schools may have fundamental difference. Maybe one of them is an art school and the other one a vocational school. We cannot expect that Mr. Schade reach same outcomes in both one.
In the final analysis, the writer`s conclusion cannot be taken as a sound one because, as it was shown in the paragraphs above, it depends on a number of assumptions each of which is questionable. The author is unable to substantiate his claims with proper reasons and proofs. It remains by and large unknown the primary reasons for Steel High School’s achievements. Hence, we cannot see them as excellent basses for making decisions about employment of Mr. Schade.
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2016-07-14 | sarablack | 36 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 867, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...hool of Saluda will be a good decision. This arguments rests upon a set of assumptio...
^^^^
Line 1, column 882, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'rest'.
Suggestion: rest
...will be a good decision. This arguments rests upon a set of assumptions, that their r...
^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'nevertheless', 'regarding', 'so', 'third', 'well', 'as a result', 'by and large']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.303921568627 0.25644967241 119% => OK
Verbs: 0.119281045752 0.15541462614 77% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0800653594771 0.0836205057962 96% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0277777777778 0.0520304965353 53% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0424836601307 0.0272364105082 156% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.147058823529 0.125424944231 117% => OK
Participles: 0.0228758169935 0.0416121511921 55% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.96817030627 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0228758169935 0.026700313972 86% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.093137254902 0.113004496875 82% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0261437908497 0.0255425247493 102% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00653594771242 0.0127820249294 51% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3239.0 2731.13054187 119% => OK
No of words: 543.0 446.07635468 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.9650092081 6.12365571057 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82725184711 4.57801047555 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.349907918969 0.378187486979 93% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.246777163904 0.287650121315 86% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.174953959484 0.208842608468 84% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.134438305709 0.135150697306 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96817030627 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Unique words: 250.0 207.018472906 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.460405156538 0.469332199767 98% => OK
Word variations: 54.2107575404 52.1807786196 104% => OK
How many sentences: 27.0 20.039408867 135% => OK
Sentence length: 20.1111111111 23.2022227129 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.2793085325 57.7814097925 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.962962963 141.986410481 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1111111111 23.2022227129 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.481481481481 0.724660767414 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 3.58251231527 56% => OK
Readability: 44.7888275015 51.9672348444 86% => OK
Elegance: 2.5 1.8405768891 136% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.58895581634 0.441005458295 134% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.110583115581 0.135418324435 82% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0750739860415 0.0829849096947 90% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.488750609347 0.58762219726 83% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.138330253145 0.147661913831 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.217283947242 0.193483328276 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.151071637044 0.0970749176394 156% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.474768943636 0.42659136922 111% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.109236487705 0.0774707102158 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.420488909981 0.312017818177 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.107581838242 0.0698173142475 154% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.33743842365 180% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.87684729064 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.82512315271 145% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 6.46551724138 139% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 5.36822660099 56% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.82389162562 142% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 14.657635468 109% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.