The direcor of a large group of hospitals recommends all the hospitals to use the UltraClean hand soap to prevent serous patient infection. To buttress the argument, the result of a lab study is cited indicating UltraClean could decrease batria populaiton. In addition, it is also mentioned that patient infection has reduced greatly in the hospital where UltraClean is tested. However, careful examination of the memo shows that the argument of the director relies on several unfounded assumptions, rendering the conclusion unconvincing as it stands.
First of all, the author cited a lab study of the hand soaps, the result of which showed that the solution of UltraClean led to a 40 percent greater decrease in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps being used in the hospital. To bolster the implication that the UltraClean solution is more effective than the liquid hand soaps currently in use, the author depends on the underlying assumption that less bacteria population means better effect in preventing infections in hospitals, which is not sufficiently supported by the director. There is possiblity that the variations inflated with the UltraClean solution than the traditional liquid hand soaps. It is also likely that the temperature in the lab study is different from that in the hospitals, making it hard to apply the study result to the hospitals. Without making these possibilities clear, we could not be convinced merely by the study result cited by the director.
Secondly, the author mentioned the fact that in the hospital where UltraClean is tested, patient infection tremendously decined compared with other hospitals in the group. The assumption made by the director is that the decrease in patient infection should all be attributed to the application of UltraClean. However, other information concerning the differences between the hospital tested and other hospitals is not provided, which could do great contribution to the final infection rate. For instance, the hospital where the test takes place might have just arranged patients into a new building where each of them occupies one single room and thus reduce the contamination possibility. Infection rate in this hospital might also increased after the use of UltraClean, with much greater increase in other hospitals, as a result of which the general patient infection in this hospital is significantly fewer than the other ones. Without detailed investigation into such differences, it is too early to attribute the result of fewer patient infection to the applicaiton of UltraClean.
Finally, the author recommends that UltraClean should be supplied to all hand-washing stations throughout the hospital system to prevent serioud patient infections. In this recommendation the director presumes that UltraClean would show its efficacy of reducing patient contamination in all the hospitals. However, in fact, the effect of UltraClean in all the hospitals might not appear as expected because the conditions and situations of the hospitals might vary. Some hospitals might lack enough money to maintain an effective infection prevention system and patients might have to be exposed at risks of various infections and contaminations. Other hospitals could be facing or going to meet seasonal waves of patient with highly infectious diseases like the H1N1 flu, which tend to elevate the infection rate even UltraClean is introduced. Without ruling out such factors, we could not be convinced that the application of UltraClean would prevent serious patient infections.
In sum, the memo of the director relies on several unsubstantiated assumptions, rendering the conclusion unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the conclusion, the director should investigate detailed reason of the decline of patient infections in the hospital UltraClean is tested.
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Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The direcor of a large group of hospitals recommends all the hospitals to use the UltraClean hand soap to prevent serous patient infection.
Error: direcor Suggestion: director
Error: serous Suggestion: serious
Sentence: To buttress the argument, the result of a lab study is cited indicating UltraClean could decrease batria populaiton.
Error: populaiton Suggestion: population
Error: batria Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: There is possiblity that the variations inflated with the UltraClean solution than the traditional liquid hand soaps.
Error: possiblity Suggestion: possibility
Sentence: Secondly, the author mentioned the fact that in the hospital where UltraClean is tested, patient infection tremendously decined compared with other hospitals in the group.
Error: decined Suggestion: decided
Sentence: Without detailed investigation into such differences, it is too early to attribute the result of fewer patient infection to the applicaiton of UltraClean.
Error: applicaiton Suggestion: application
Sentence: Finally, the author recommends that UltraClean should be supplied to all hand-washing stations throughout the hospital system to prevent serioud patient infections.
Error: serioud Suggestion: serious
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argument 1 -- OK, also need to mention that maybe because it is a concentrated solution not a normal one.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Words: 596 350
less content wanted to paraphrase the topic. look:
the author cited a lab study of the hand soaps, the result of which showed that the solution of UltraClean led to a 40 percent greater decrease in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps being used in the hospital. To bolster the implication that the UltraClean solution is more effective than the liquid hand soaps currently in use, the author depends on the underlying assumption that less bacteria population means better effect in preventing infections in hospitals, which is not sufficiently supported by the director.
it is relatively more.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 596 350
No. of Characters: 3201 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.941 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.371 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.956 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 247 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 203 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 159 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 109 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.913 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.923 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.435 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.132 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 417, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun bacteria is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...pends on the underlying assumption that less bacteria population means better effect...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, thus, for instance, in addition, in fact, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 87.0 55.5748502994 157% => OK
Nominalization: 32.0 16.3942115768 195% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3270.0 2260.96107784 145% => OK
No of words: 596.0 441.139720559 135% => OK
Chars per words: 5.48657718121 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94096258147 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02830178221 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.421140939597 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 998.1 705.55239521 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.22255489022 261% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.9507832376 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.173913043 119.503703932 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.9130434783 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.60869565217 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204126099392 0.218282227539 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0732869811985 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.074853705289 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133414733739 0.128457276422 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.109892615828 0.0628817314937 175% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 14.3799401198 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.3550499002 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.86 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 137.0 98.500998004 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.