The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College states there is a need to build new dormitory in order to accommodate new enrollment, as they are growing significantly day by day. Although this might seem a good idea, there are some pitfalls behind the planning.
The general idea taken into consideration is that most of the enrollment in the college live in a different city, which are vey far away from the college. If that's not the case, then most of the students enrolling will be living in their homes and not in dormitory, ultimately creating less requirement of existing dormitories in the universities. Also, the commute facility to different towns attached to Birmigham are not taken into consideration, which might cause a decrease in surge of dorms required ny new enrollment.
Now, even if there is the requirement of new dormitory to be build, there needs to be a cost that is needed to be allocated in order to initiate it's construction. And that cost will massively come out of the funds that are usually allocated to the university either by grants, or from the fees taken from students. This, in turn, might cause some budget cuts from different elective fields in the university, which in effect would hurt the professors as well as students in the electives. Also, there might be a stress on the fees of existing and enrolling students due to immediate requirement of funds to build those dorms.
And finally, to assume that a student would enroll in a university based on just availability of dorms is just absurd and childish. A prospective student always tend to take many matters into his/her mind while enrolling in an university, including the field of study in which they want to go, how is the faculty of the university, the gross output of university i.e. how many students graduating have either got jobs or are currently in a venture. The matter of living in a dormitory is a trifling matter when considered amongst the above ones.
Also, the matter of increasing enrollment would significantly affect all the other colleges, in which there is a finite intake of students per branch, which in turn might cause many students to withdraw their application from the university eventually. The director of student housing must keep this in mind that increasing threshold might cause the standard of education to deplete, which in turn would tarnish the education of the university.
In conclusion, I would commend the general idea behind the director's motivation to build new dormitories for the welfare of the student, but to consider 50 years of period in order to build them might be a bit too absurd, and might cause valuable funds to the university. So, a plan must be devised by the dignitaries along with the director of student housing in order to come up with the dormitories that could sustain finite intake of universities and would cause least stress on the university funds.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 500 350
No. of Characters: 2391 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.729 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.782 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.733 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.317 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.646 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 159, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...h are vey far away from the college. If thats not the case, then most of the students...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 355, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... dormitories in the universities. Also, the commute facility to different towns attached to...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 225, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...rs into his/her mind while enrolling in an university, including the field of stud...
^^
Line 21, column 60, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'directors'' or 'director's'?
Suggestion: directors'; director's
...uld commend the general idea behind the directors motivation to build new dormitories for...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 462, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[3]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'cause the least'.
Suggestion: cause the least
...finite intake of universities and would cause least stress on the university funds.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, so, then, well, while, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 90.0 55.5748502994 162% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2461.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 499.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93186372745 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72634191566 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8112968442 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.448897795591 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 778.5 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.2711321861 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 153.8125 119.503703932 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.1875 23.324526521 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.70786347227 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201186652538 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0707549086229 0.0743258471296 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0799655876242 0.0701772020484 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117981336317 0.128457276422 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0800230470695 0.0628817314937 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 14.3799401198 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.01 48.3550499002 83% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.197005988 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.91 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.37 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.