The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of West Egg.
"Two years ago, our consultants predicted that West Egg's landfill, which is used for garbage disposal, would be completely filled within five years. During the past two years, however, town residents have been recycling twice as much aluminum and paper as they did in previous years. Next month the amount of material recycled should further increase, since charges for garbage pickup will double. Furthermore, over ninety percent of the respondents to a recent survey said that they would do more recycling in the future. Because of our residents' strong commitment to recycling, the available space in our landfill should last for considerably longer than predicted."
The author of this argument claims that available space in the landfill in contrast to the previous prediction will be usable and last longer. To support this claim the mayor cites that inhabitants have recycled more and more aluminum and paper since two years ago. The the memo determines information about increase in charge of garbage pickup as a another motives for citizens in order to avoid producing trash. To more substantiate this claim, the author refers to a survey to show interest of people for reduction in garbage production. The argument rests on a series of unconvincing assumptions, and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
First of all, the author bases his claim partly on the fact that aluminum and paper have been recycled twice as much as they did in past. However, one can easily undermine this point by referring to the material throwing away as garbage. In fact, majority of garbage are useless parts of somethings like fruit, vegetable, and meat. Since no information has been provided about this point, the mayor's prediction is not what we rely on for garbage disposal.
In further support of his claim the memo cites that the increase in garbage charge to convince the readers that people will be coerced to reduce their waste. Nevertheless, the author overlooks the possibility that people's income is much enough to easily cope not only twice but also third and forth increase in pickup charge. Without ruling our such possibility for easily paying the pickup cost, the author cannot defend the conclusion that based on this evidence people produce lower waste and garbage, and landfill will be available longer.
For additional support, the mayor points out that a survey done by researchers shows that residents of the town of West Egg will to recycle more and more. However, such a survey cannot be a good resource to rely on since both number of people participating in such an investigation is vague and age group of people has not been cited in this memo. Nor has compelling evidence been compiled in the memo. So based on this point, It is cumbersome to concede that landfill will last longer than previous prediction.
Finally, the author of this memo ignore the fact that the reproduction in town of West Egg has not been stopped. Under such condition, the more people you have, the more garbage are produced. Since the author has not provided any information about population growth in this region, this claim about decrease in garbage production and recycling will be undermined.
In conclusion, the author's evidence lends little credible support to his claim. To persuade me that landfill will last longer, the memo should be bolstered by type of material which is found in the landfill. The author would need to provide information people' income and correct comparison to show their intention to produce lower garbage. We would also need clear evidence about not only both number of people who participated in the survey and their age group but also reproduction rates in this region.
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Sentence: The the memo determines information about increase in charge of garbage pickup as a another motives for citizens in order to avoid producing trash.
Description: The tag an article is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to The and the
Sentence: For additional support, the mayor points out that a survey done by researchers shows that residents of the town of West Egg will to recycle more and more.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to will and to
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argument 1 -- not OK. Look:
however, town residents have been recycling twice as much aluminum and paper as they did in previous years. //maybe aluminum and paper only take little percentages on whole recycling.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. In GRE/GMAT, we have to accept all data or evidence are true. Look:
over ninety percent of the respondents to a recent survey said that they would do more recycling in the future.
//maybe they will have more garbage in the meantime.
argument 4 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 509 350
No. of Characters: 2478 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.75 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.868 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.527 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 175 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.13 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.694 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5