The following appeared in a memo from the president of Bower Builders, a company that constructs new homes."A nationwide survey reveals that the two most-desired home features are a large family room and a large, well-appointed kitchen. A number of homes

In this memo the president of Bower Buliders plans to increase the size of family rooms and kitchens in all the homes they build and decorate the kitchens with a state-of-the-art style as a standard feature. To support his plan. he cites the national survey which shows the people the reference on kitchens and family rooms.Also, their competitor had succeced in doing so. While the plan is problematic because there are some loopholes in this statement, we should evaluate them carefully.

To begin with, let's dig into this national survey. Due to the description by th author ,I think the Bower Builders is not a natonwide company, thus they should focus on the local market instead of the national case. Hence there is no obvious relevance between the plan and the national survey. Maybe the local people would not like the national fashion instead of other styles like big bedrooms. In this way, as I suggest that the president should make local survey to find out the people's favor.

However, the competitor Domus succeced in making the such features and their selling price is much higher than the national average. I belive the president should not hurry to copy their experince. Firstly, there are many kinds of homes, condles, apartments, houses,for example. To me, it is possible for a house to have a big family rooms and large beautiful kitchens, it make sense because of the place is spacious. While the president should consider whether the home they will build is suitable for these features. If they build a condle for single person, I belive there is no necessary to build a big family room. Moreover, maybe the local people do not like the glamous decroration of kitchen, simplicity, instead, may be their desire for their home. Secondly, the national average is not a criterion for the local market. As we discussed, the president should compare the local average price with the competitor's to find out whether these features work.

In addition, the president notes that the dinning room should not appear because the recent buyers do not like the separate dinning rooms. This suggestion is not convincing in that we do not know how much of these recent buyers take in part of all the recent buyers. May be only a few people do not like dinning room while most of them conceive of this room is essential for their homes. To support this idea, the president should make clear the ratio we mentioned above. Moreover, he should not neglect the space of the room they are about to build which are not spacious enough for the dining room.

In conclusion, the president plan is not well supported by his evidence. To support his idea, he should focus on the local market instead of the national data. Firstly, he should make clear what kinds of homes they are to build. Secondly, he should figur out the local people's favor in different homes, like condles,apartments, single houses. Thirdly, he should make more effective plans to make more profits and sales related to various kind of people like families or single persons in that their demands are very different.

Votes
Average: 6.3 (3 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 230, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
... standard feature. To support his plan. he cites the national survey which shows t...
^^
Line 2, column 325, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
... reference on kitchens and family rooms.Also, their competitor had succeced in doing...
^^^^
Line 4, column 87, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...vey. Due to the description by th author ,I think the Bower Builders is not a nato...
^^
Line 4, column 217, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...al market instead of the national case. Hence there is no obvious relevance between t...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 136, Rule ID: PRP_RB_NO_VB[1]
Message: Are you missing a verb?
...uch higher than the national average. I belive the president should not hurry to copy thei...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 266, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , for
...ds of homes, condles, apartments, houses,for example. To me, it is possible for a ho...
^^^^
Line 6, column 374, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
... rooms and large beautiful kitchens, it make sense because of the place is spacious....
^^^^
Line 10, column 316, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , apartments
...s favor in different homes, like condles,apartments, single houses. Thirdly, he should make...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, well, while, for example, i think, in addition, in conclusion, kind of, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 49.0 28.8173652695 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2569.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 528.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86553030303 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79356345386 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5042828042 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.441287878788 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 792.9 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 4.96107784431 282% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.048487831 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.75 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8571428571 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.64285714286 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.14990578918 0.218282227539 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0449206515973 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0411428453921 0.0701772020484 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0931302268096 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0389409519694 0.0628817314937 62% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Sentence: To support his plan. he cites the national survey which shows the people the reference on kitchens and family rooms.Also, their competitor had succeced in doing so.
Error: succeced Suggestion: succeed

Sentence: Due to the description by th author ,I think the Bower Builders is not a natonwide company, thus they should focus on the local market instead of the national case.
Error: natonwide Suggestion: nationwide
Error: th Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: However, the competitor Domus succeced in making the such features and their selling price is much higher than the national average.
Error: succeced Suggestion: succeed

Sentence: I belive the president should not hurry to copy their experince.
Error: belive Suggestion: believe
Error: experince Suggestion: experience

Sentence: Firstly, there are many kinds of homes, condles, apartments, houses,for example.
Error: condles Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: If they build a condle for single person, I belive there is no necessary to build a big family room.
Error: condle Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: belive Suggestion: believe

Sentence: Moreover, maybe the local people do not like the glamous decroration of kitchen, simplicity, instead, may be their desire for their home.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: glamous Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: decroration Suggestion: decoration

Sentence: Secondly, he should figur out the local people's favor in different homes, like condles,apartments, single houses.
Error: figur Suggestion: figure
Error: condles Suggestion: No alternate word

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 532 350
No. of Characters: 2491 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.803 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.682 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.297 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.704 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.874 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.482 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5