The following appeared in a memo from the president of a company that builds and sells new homes in Steel city.
“Over the past five years, the population of steel city has increased by more than 20 percent, and family incomes in Steel City have risen much faster than the national average. Nationwide, sales of houses priced above $150,000 have increased more than have sales of lower-priced houses. Such data indicate that we should make changes in our business to increase company profits. First, we should build fewer low-priced houses than we did last year and focus instead on building houses designed to sell at above $150,000 dollars. Second, we should hire additional workers so that we can build a larger total number of houses than we did last year.”
The writer makesthe concluon that a company that builds and sells new homes in Steel City needs to make changes in their business to increase company profits. He contends that they build and design houses that are above $150,000 in value, instead of low-priced houses. He also plans on hiring greater number of workers to increase the total number of houses than they built in last year. The arguer provides evidence in support of his claim that these two steps would lead to an increase in the company’s profits. First, he cited the increase in population in Steel City by more than 20 percent along with a much faster rise in the family incomes in this city, that is more than the national average. Second, he assumes that, Nationwide there has been a surge in the sale of high-priced houses than low-priced houses. However, the evidence provided by the arguer stands on questionable assumptions and is thus rendered indefensible.
The argument made by the arguer is rendered weak due to insufficiency of information. The arguer mentions that there has been an increase in the population of Steel City. He, however, does not mention why and how the population increased. This is to say that, whether the population increased because of immigration or increased birth rates. The arguer forgets to mention that retired people might have come back to their hometown, Steel City. If this is the case, then most of these people would not be interested in buying new houses, as they would already be having their old houses. Even if some rich, retired couple buy new houses, it does not portray the behaviour of the entire city regarding buying of new houses. Moreover, the population increase can be attributed to the influx of young and middle-aged people into Steel City for job purposes. These people mainly have disposable income which they will not invest in buying houses, rather they might rent houses. Furthermore, they will possibly not settle in Steel City permanently.
The second argument, concerning the much faster escalation of family incomes greater than the average national income, is also inadequate. The arguer’s assumption that an increased family income would only be used to buy new homes is partial and biased. People in Steel City might be more interested in using their money in other luxuries of life like travelling, expensive cars, education, and so on.
Thirdly, the arguer claims that nationwide the sale of $150,000 and above houses has soared up, which should also indicate that Steel City would also show a similar pattern in buying houses. However, the arguer ignores the fact that what is true for the rest of the nation might not be true for Steel City. The increased sale might have been seen in metropolitan and other big cities. His claims do contain lacunae and fail to provide reasons.
Finally, hiring of additional workers to build more number of houses is a flawed decision. The company might not be in a situation to invest so much on paying these extra workers. Moreover, in order to accommodate the additional workers, if they cut down the salaries of existing employees, it will adversely affect the workers. This might also bring down workers’ motivation and in turn harm the company. Most importantly, if this entire plan does not succeed the company will suffer tremendous losses from which they might not be able to recover.
As discussed above the arguer’s arguments rests on a number of factors that have not been substantiated with sufficient detail and evidence. The arguer had very narrowly assumed that increase in population in Steel City meant increase in sale of expensive houses. Also, he asserted that their rising family incomes will be spent only on buying new houses. Moreover, he anticipated that nationwide upsurge of sale of those high-end houses also indicated a high sale in Steel City. The overall argument is very narrow as he did not consider alternative possibilities of his claims. If the arguer had portrayed a more holistic picture of the situation and provided evidence that residents of Steel City could have afforded such house high-priced houses, his claims would have been more persuasive. Therefore, the argument fails to convince the reader that building more pricey houses and hiring more workers will prove to be profitable for the company.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2019-10-16 | tannistha2019GREessays | 74 | view |
2019-10-16 | tannistha2019GREessays | 77 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 36 15
No. of Words: 721 350
No. of Characters: 3527 1500
No. of Different Words: 299 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.182 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.892 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.463 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 262 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 173 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 115 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.028 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.076 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.46 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, regarding, second, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 28.8173652695 194% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 92.0 55.5748502994 166% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3655.0 2260.96107784 162% => OK
No of words: 721.0 441.139720559 163% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0693481276 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.18183781724 4.56307096286 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60875305064 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 304.0 204.123752495 149% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.421636615811 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1132.2 705.55239521 160% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 4.96107784431 302% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 36.0 19.7664670659 182% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.7838453174 57.8364921388 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.527777778 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0277777778 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.41666666667 5.70786347227 60% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 15.0 6.88822355289 218% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.304889386838 0.218282227539 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0827362902209 0.0743258471296 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0795319958918 0.0701772020484 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175658808366 0.128457276422 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0716174105264 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 152.0 98.500998004 154% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.