The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company: "When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees."
In the argument, the author concludes that the Apogee Company can improve the profits by closing down other field offices to conduct its all operations in one. To strengthen the conclusion, the author points out the centralization will have more profits due to cut costs and maintain high equality in supervision. Nevertheless, it seems to conclude too fast without more considerations and adequate evidence.
First, the author asserts that the Apogee Company should close the field offices to conduct all operations to have more profits. However, without more evidence to strengthen the conclusion seems unfounded. For instance, to have the increasing profits may not due to the change of strategy to let all operations in one location. Many factors affect the profits, such as the type of the company, quality of the product, or the service of the company. The author needs to show more statistical numbers to evidence the relationship between the conduct operations in one location and the increasing profit to make sure the location is an important factor. Therefore, without more information will weaken the assumption.
Second, the author points out that centralization management will cut costs and maintain better supervision of employees. However, the conclusion is not convincing because different types of company suit different managements. For example, the convenience store will not manage in centralization due to it needs to have more locations to occupy the more markets. If the company manages the convenience store in centralization, each store needs to spend more expense and time to communicate between the central and outer. Therefore, fault management will affect the management a lot, so this assumption is not suitable.
In sum, the author’s conclusion that if the Apogee Company has increasing profits, the company should close down its field and change the management to centralization seems unfounded. To strengthen the assumption, the author needs to demonstrate more evidence to explore the relationship between the increased profits and type of operation, then compares which type of management suit the company.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-10-31 | Iridium0203 | 62 | view |
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 333 350
No. of Characters: 1772 1500
No. of Different Words: 139 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.272 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.321 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.936 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.126 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.379 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 134, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...ing down other field offices to conduct its all operations in one. To strengthen th...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 19.6327345309 15% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 9.0 28.8173652695 31% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1822.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 333.0 441.139720559 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.47147147147 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27180144563 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04809390637 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 146.0 204.123752495 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.438438438438 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 569.7 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.5879621255 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.875 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8125 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.375 5.70786347227 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.280245185414 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104480854109 0.0743258471296 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.132660759969 0.0701772020484 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201929779407 0.128457276422 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0735715384691 0.0628817314937 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.18 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 98.500998004 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.