The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Health Naturally, a small but expanding chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Our previous experience has been that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build one of our new stores in Plainsville, which clearly has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise equipment are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight-training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a program called Fitness for Life, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Here, the vice president of health naturally wants to open their new branch in Plainsville. To support his suggestion, he also gives some information that residents of Plainsville are highly concerned with leading health style. So, they can built their office in this city and can get maximum profit from it. Although, this kind of information, I refute this claim. It has many loopholes which make this argument unconvincing.
Initially, the vice president says that Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise equipment are all time highs. Although, this statement might be true, it has not given numerical data and any specific company's selling details. He also condones the company which are already doing their business in Plainsville. This company might have relation with customers so strong that customers might not go to other shops to buy health related products. If this actually happens, the vice president's claim might bankrupt their company. Hence, the vice president should consider monopoly of the company which are already existed in Plainsville.
Secondly, the vice president assumes that their new branch in Plainsville will make profit. But to bolster his claim, he should consider cost regarding construction of their new branch. This simply means that he should give estimation of total cost to establish their branch in Plainsville. So, the authority-president of company- can take fair disicion about construction of new branch in Plainsville. The vice president should also show that how much reliable merchants report is? What kind of data he considers during making claim that this new branch will be profitable to their company?
At the end, the vice president cites that the school children should participate in the health program which emphasizes the benefits of exercise at early age. The vice president makes here the biggest assumption. At the time, when you are planning to open new office, you can not make assumption like this. One should consider the worst situations that might be emerged from this claim. So, you can calculate maximum risk that you will take to construct new branch. The author should give information without considering assumptions.
In conclusion, I just want to tell that the vice president's claim is full of loopholes, flaws and assumptions. So, on the basis of information that he gives, one should not take risk to build new branch in Plainsville. If they really want to open, they should remove these assumptions, flaws and get some numerical data to make their claim strong.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 242, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'build'
Suggestion: build
...with leading health style. So, they can built their office in this city and can get m...
^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'also', 'but', 'hence', 'if', 'really', 'regarding', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'in conclusion', 'kind of']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.264069264069 0.25644967241 103% => OK
Verbs: 0.151515151515 0.15541462614 97% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0627705627706 0.0836205057962 75% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0519480519481 0.0520304965353 100% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0627705627706 0.0272364105082 230% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.11038961039 0.125424944231 88% => OK
Participles: 0.0238095238095 0.0416121511921 57% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.76501231592 2.79052419416 99% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0281385281385 0.026700313972 105% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0800865800866 0.113004496875 71% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.047619047619 0.0255425247493 186% => Less modal verbs wanted (like 'must , shall , will , should , would , can , could , may , and might').
WH_determiners: 0.017316017316 0.0127820249294 135% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2578.0 2731.13054187 94% => OK
No of words: 413.0 446.07635468 93% => OK
Chars per words: 6.24213075061 6.12365571057 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.57801047555 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.363196125908 0.378187486979 96% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.266343825666 0.287650121315 93% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.208232445521 0.208842608468 100% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.150121065375 0.135150697306 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76501231592 2.79052419416 99% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 207.018472906 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479418886199 0.469332199767 102% => OK
Word variations: 52.3049654495 52.1807786196 100% => OK
How many sentences: 26.0 20.039408867 130% => OK
Sentence length: 15.8846153846 23.2022227129 68% => OK
Sentence length SD: 26.4059400257 57.7814097925 46% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.1538461538 141.986410481 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.8846153846 23.2022227129 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.461538461538 0.724660767414 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 3.58251231527 28% => OK
Readability: 42.5189979512 51.9672348444 82% => OK
Elegance: 1.49593495935 1.8405768891 81% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.282483653631 0.441005458295 64% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0919913953505 0.135418324435 68% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0774767324591 0.0829849096947 93% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.477323591061 0.58762219726 81% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.0983197038965 0.147661913831 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105253830681 0.193483328276 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0703686497466 0.0970749176394 72% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.339917928293 0.42659136922 80% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.020544488864 0.0774707102158 27% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.194506810198 0.312017818177 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0370657600119 0.0698173142475 53% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.33743842365 132% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.87684729064 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.82512315271 207% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 11.0 6.46551724138 170% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 5.36822660099 93% => OK
Neutral topic words: 8.0 2.82389162562 283% => OK
Total topic words: 24.0 14.657635468 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.