The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."
In this argument, the vice president of Nature’s way claims that the next new store should be built in plainsville. In order to support this, He points out the previous experience that more profit was seen in areas where people are concerned in leading healthy life. To justify this, he also cites various evidences which includes the sales report given by plainsville merchant, more members than ever in the local health club. And finally to bolster his assumption he mentions about the ‘fitness for life’ program for plainsville’s school children that may provide way for the new generation of customers. However, scrutiny of those facts seems to have little disparity with the idea of new store in plainsville making this assumption unconvincing and doubtful.
First of all, On the basis of the evidence that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are all-time high one cannot decide that all the people in plainsville are health concerned. There may be customers from outside the plainsville region for the quality of products sold by that particular merchant and customers like athlete, sports person from various other region rather than plainsville for the quality of materials sold by the merchant. The author lacks evidences such as the customer’s purpose of buying these products that they are mainly focused for health reasons or some other reasons. And also the report lacks in providing the customer details whether all of them are from plainsville. This lose of data in the report makes it less valid to take into account for the author’s assumption.
Furthermore, To strengthen his claim he places an evidence that more members are there in Local health club and the weight training, aerobics class were always full. Perhaps, the author fails to take the fact serious that the health club was closed for five years due to lack of business. This clearly shows that the people may be interested in joining health club but not ready to take steps in following good health. Thus, The author needs more effective information regarding the healthy foods habits and diet consciousness of plainsville residents.
In addition, the vice president of nature’s way bolsters his assumption by citing the availability of new generation of customers who are plainsville’s school children. Besides the plainsville school children are required to participate in a fitness for life program, most children usually don’t like to join in fitness program in this early stage. In fact, generally small children are already active and to be fit in their young age. It cannot be assumed to get the result of new generation customers without knowing the school children preferences on this fitness program. Moreover, children are likely to show disinterest in fitness program since they love to join various entertaining programs and also most children hates to have healthy food. Without considering the several other aspects about school children it is not acceptable to anticipate that this fitness for life program will cause positive response for the new store in plainsville.
In sum, This limited evidences renders less plausible support to substantiate the claim of opening Nature’s Way new store in plainsville. The author fails to account the relevant factors responsible to show that most of the residents of Plainsville are likely to buy only healthy foods. Lacking such evidences undermines the assumption to open store in Plainsville. Thus, the vice president should establish logically untenable evidences to show that people of plainsville are proven to be regular in maintaining their health by having healthy foods and health-related products to find his assumption even more convincing.
- The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products. "Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where res 69
- The true test of greatness of art work is the ability to understood by the masses. 50
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 595 350
No. of Characters: 3059 1500
No. of Different Words: 275 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.939 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.141 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.676 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 233 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 180 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 118 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 76 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.792 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.576 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 136, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...lability of new generation of customers who are plainsville's school children. Bes...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, then, thus, in addition, in fact, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 96.0 55.5748502994 173% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3168.0 2260.96107784 140% => OK
No of words: 594.0 441.139720559 135% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33333333333 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93681225224 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90611256769 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 280.0 204.123752495 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.47138047138 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 950.4 705.55239521 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.6405201769 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.0 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.75 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.125 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151408412017 0.218282227539 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0503350897492 0.0743258471296 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0437452105952 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0984881956056 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0440679051975 0.0628817314937 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.93 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 98.500998004 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.