The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's way,a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives.We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville,which has many such residents.Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs.The local health club,which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business,has more members than ever,and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full.We can even anticipate a new generation of customers:Plainsville's school children are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program,which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."
In this memo the vice president of Nature's way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products recommends to establish a new store in Plainsville . The memorandum fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated.To justify this conclusion the vice president reasons that the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs, the local health club has more members and school children are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program.However careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides little credible support for the vice president's recommendation.Hence, the argument can be considered incomplete or unsubstantiated.
Firstly, the good number of sales of exercise apparel do not necessarily indicate that Plainsville residents would be interested in Nature's way products or that the residents are interested in exercising.Perhaps exercise outfits might be fashionable at the moment, or inexpensive compared to the other types of clothing. For instance,all the youngsters these days mostly prefer exercise outfits rather than other types of clothing just because of the comfort they provide.There are many such strong instances that can be taken into consideration without which the vice president cannot convince me on the basis that the Plainsville residents are exercising regularly.
Secondly, even if exercise is more popular among Plainsville residents than ever before, the vice president assumes further that people who exercise regularly are also interested in buying health food and health-related products. Yet the memo contains no evidence to support this assumption. Lacking such evidence it is equally possible that aside from exercising Plainsville residents have little interest in leading a healthy lifestyle. In fact, perhaps as a result of regular exercise they believe they are sufficiently fit and healthy and do not need a healthy diet.
Thirdly, the popularity of the local health club is little indication that NW will earn a profit from a store in Plainsville. Perhaps club members live in an area of Plainsville nowhere near feasible sites for a NW store. Or perhaps the dub's primary appeal is as a singles meeting place, and that members actually have little interest in a healthy lifestyle. Besides, even if the club's members would patronize a NW store these members might be insufficient in number to ensure a profit for the store, especially considering that this health club is the only one in Plainsville.
Finally, even assuming that PlamesviUe residents are strongly interested in eating health foods and health-related products, the recommendation rests on two additional assumptions: (1) that this interest will continue in the foreseeable future, and (2) that Plainsville residents will prefer NW over other merchants that sell similar products. Until the vice president substantiates both assumptions I remain unconvinced that a NW store in Plainsville would be profitable.
In sum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation the vice president must provide dear evidence--perhaps by way of a local survey or study--that Plainsville residents who buy and wear exercise apparel, and especially the health club's members, do in fact exercise regularly, and that these exercisers are likely to buy health foods and health related products at a NW store. To better assess the recommendation, I would need to know why Plainsville's health club is nonular, and why Plainsville does not contain more health clubs. I would also need to know what competition NW might face in Plainsville.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2018-09-28 | manaswitha paladugu | 33 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 47, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , a
...s memo the vice president of Natures way,a chain of stores selling health food and...
^^
Line 1, column 120, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends establishing'.
Suggestion: recommends establishing
... food and other health-related products recommends to establish a new store in Plainsville . The memora...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 170, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... to establish a new store in Plainsville . The memorandum fails to mention several...
^^
Line 1, column 224, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , on
...dum fails to mention several key factors,on the basis of which it could be evaluate...
^^^
Line 1, column 269, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...he basis of which it could be evaluated.To justify this conclusion the vice presid...
^^
Line 1, column 398, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
... exercise clothing are at all-time highs,the local health club has more members and ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 516, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...rticipate in a fitness for life program.However careful scrutiny of the evidence reveal...
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Line 1, column 645, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
... for the vice presidents recommendation.Hence,the argument can be considered incomple...
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Line 1, column 650, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...the vice presidents recommendation.Hence,the argument can be considered incomplete o...
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Line 3, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...complete or unsubstantiated. Firstly,the good number of sales of exercise appare...
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Line 3, column 204, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Perhaps
... residents are interested in exercising.Perhaps exercise outfits might be fashionable a...
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Line 3, column 333, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , all
...he other types of clothing. For instance,all the youngsters these days mostly prefer...
^^^^
Line 3, column 472, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...ust because of the comfort they provide.There are many such strong instances that can...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, hence, however, if, so, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 55.5748502994 47% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1179.0 2260.96107784 52% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 205.0 441.139720559 46% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.7512195122 5.12650576532 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.78388967377 4.56307096286 83% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.46951565526 2.78398813304 125% => OK
Unique words: 128.0 204.123752495 63% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.624390243902 0.468620217663 133% => OK
syllable_count: 371.7 705.55239521 53% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 4.0 19.7664670659 20% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 51.0 22.8473053892 223% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 130.9415423 57.8364921388 226% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 294.75 119.503703932 247% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 51.25 23.324526521 220% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 13.0 5.70786347227 228% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 2.0 5.15768463074 39% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213416855486 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.156912223048 0.0743258471296 211% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.148816913247 0.0701772020484 212% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165932191386 0.128457276422 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0776802726647 0.0628817314937 124% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 31.3 14.3799401198 218% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 2.79 48.3550499002 6% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 14.6 7.1628742515 204% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 25.5 12.197005988 209% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 16.96 12.5979740519 135% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.86 8.32208582834 130% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 98.500998004 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 28.5 12.3882235529 230% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 22.4 11.1389221557 201% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 29.0 11.9071856287 244% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.