The following appeared as part of a petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group:
“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit primarily to see our magnificent bird population."
The petition sent to the residents of Youngtown by environmental protection group states that the Smith corporation should not be allowed to build a small hotel on the land as this will have disastrous consequences on the bird sanctuary in the Wildlife preserve.The author of the petion hereby fails to provide evidneces as to how the building of a small hotel will harm the sanctuary as it is mentioned that the the Smith corporation have promised to ensure the preservation of sanctuary then the argument of restricting the development of new hotel is totally bane.
Firstly, The building of a hotel can bring income to the residents of Youngtown as it is mentioned in the petition that the residents rely on the tourists who come to visit the bird sanctuary and this is where the petition helps bolster to let build a hotel as the tourists who come to visit can stay at the hotel and take rest after the tiring journey and hereby this will be profitable to the residents as the hotel will require staff, food groceries, furniture and many more which the residents can provide to the hotel.This will bolster the possibility of building a hotel.
Secondly, the recommendation fails to provide information as to how far the hotel is from the bird sanctuary as if it is not to close then are no consequences to be faced by the bird because there would no noise or any kind of quirky activities near them. The bird sanctuary will have disastrous consequences is mentioned in the petition but there are no evidences or points as to how the building of hotel can harm the sanctuary.This also underpins that the Smith corporation should be permitted to develop land.
Thirdly, the petition is truly based on assumptions and there are no full prove evidences for not permitting the corporation to build hotel in part of Youngtown Wildlife Preserve and the residents who are perspicacious enough will surely think about letting the corporation to build hotel as they will get fruitful benefits from it can hereby can help sustain the bird sanctuary evn more as there would be an increase in income the residents can invest more money in the sanctuary and can expand the bird species of the sanctuary.
In conclusion, the author of the petition has failed to provide strong points and have just made up statements based on assumptions. Therefore the argument is ill-founded and must have been bolstered if there were more evidences as to how the construction of a small hotel can harm the bird sanctuary. Atlast the petition is falsified and I truly disagree with the argument.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2107 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.735 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.737 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 31.178 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.425 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.673 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 263, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...bird sanctuary in the Wildlife preserve.The author of the petion hereby fails to pr...
^^^
Line 1, column 410, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...m the sanctuary as it is mentioned that the the Smith corporation have promised to ensu...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 410, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...m the sanctuary as it is mentioned that the the Smith corporation have promised to ensu...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 524, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
... the residents can provide to the hotel.This will bolster the possibility of buildin...
^^^^
Line 5, column 431, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...uilding of hotel can harm the sanctuary.This also underpins that the Smith corporati...
^^^^
Line 7, column 70, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'fulls'?
Suggestion: fulls
...y based on assumptions and there are no full prove evidences for not permitting the ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 389, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...elp sustain the bird sanctuary evn more as there would be an increase in income th...
^^
Line 9, column 134, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ade up statements based on assumptions. Therefore the argument is ill-founded and must ha...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, as to, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2140.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 442.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84162895928 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58517132086 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83292973414 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.391402714932 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 671.4 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 19.7664670659 40% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 55.0 22.8473053892 241% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 193.424242276 57.8364921388 334% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 267.5 119.503703932 224% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 55.25 23.324526521 237% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 14.375 5.70786347227 252% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.251076868291 0.218282227539 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11214726401 0.0743258471296 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102258286088 0.0701772020484 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15437924967 0.128457276422 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.094022522293 0.0628817314937 150% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 29.0 14.3799401198 202% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 24.11 48.3550499002 50% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 23.6 12.197005988 193% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.68 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 98.500998004 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 29.0 12.3882235529 234% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 24.0 11.1389221557 215% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 29.0 11.9071856287 244% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.