The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
According to the recommendation by the planning committee of Calatrava city, they are proposing to reduce budget for education as well reduce funding for athletic playing fields since the birthrate last year was one-half compared to that of five years ago due to which number of students enrollerd in public school will reduce dramatically.With this reduction,the committee will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used by adult population,which they are expecting to inrease in the coming years.The reasons behind the recommendation is seriously flawed with incomplete information and vague assumptions due to which it shouldn't be approved.
Firstly, the argument states that the birth rate is half to that compared to five years ago.However, no information regarding the overall population difference of the Calatrava city is metioned by the commitee.Maybe due to lack of opportunities in the city many families moved out and settled somewhere else resulting in overall reduction of the city population and not just that of new born babies.Hence, their assumption of adult population increase becomes vacous and putting money in city facilities and programs holds no value.The commitee instead should conduct a population count and compare it with previous years inorder to determine the exact situation.
Secondly, The commitee proposeds to reduce fund from education and other children recreational facilities on the basis of assumption that the birthrate is reducing.However, there could be a chance that the majorty of the current population comprises of young unmarried adults who might tie a knot in the future and eventually starting a family, hence, leading to the increase in the birthrate.Then, cutting educational budget would be foolish and immoral on their part.
Lastly, the authinticity with which the birthrate was calculated five years ago or last year is inclear.We can't just believe the statement without any proper documention.Maybe the commitee incharge calculated the rate with apathy or rigged the calculation due to some personal greed like that of promoting the increased budget for the adult facilities and programs.
Hence, In summary, with the above listed flaws the proposed reccomendation shouldn't be passed.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 18 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1887 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.242 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.81 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 51.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 26.332 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.436 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.833 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 341, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: With
... public school will reduce dramatically.With this reduction,the committee will have ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 360, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
... reduce dramatically.With this reduction,the committee will have sufficient money to...
^^^^
Line 1, column 463, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , which
...es and programs used by adult population,which they are expecting to inrease in the co...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 520, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...xpecting to inrease in the coming years.The reasons behind the recommendation is se...
^^^
Line 1, column 644, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...n and vague assumptions due to which it shouldnt be approved. Firstly, the argument s...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...half to that compared to five years ago.However, no information regarding the overall p...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 149, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rmation regarding the overall population difference of the Calatrava city is meti...
^^
Line 3, column 212, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Maybe
...atrava city is metioned by the commitee.Maybe due to lack of opportunities in the cit...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 401, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...on and not just that of new born babies.Hence, their assumption of adult population i...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 534, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... facilities and programs holds no value.The commitee instead should conduct a popu...
^^^
Line 3, column 561, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lds no value.The commitee instead should conduct a population count and compare i...
^^
Line 5, column 165, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...sumption that the birthrate is reducing.However, there could be a chance that the major...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 241, Rule ID: COMPRISES_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'comprises' or 'consists of'?
Suggestion: comprises; consists of
...t the majorty of the current population comprises of young unmarried adults who might tie a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 286, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ises of young unmarried adults who might tie a knot in the future and eventually ...
^^
Line 5, column 395, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Then
...eading to the increase in the birthrate.Then, cutting educational budget would be fo...
^^^^
Line 7, column 105, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: We
... five years ago or last year is inclear.We cant just believe the statement without...
^^
Line 7, column 108, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ve years ago or last year is inclear.We cant just believe the statement without any ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 171, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Maybe
...tatement without any proper documention.Maybe the commitee incharge calculated the ra...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 76, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...isted flaws the proposed reccomendation shouldnt be passed.
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, well, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1932.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 346.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.5838150289 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31289638616 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20771752222 2.78398813304 115% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.549132947977 0.468620217663 117% => OK
syllable_count: 606.6 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 19.7664670659 25% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 69.0 22.8473053892 302% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 212.776502462 57.8364921388 368% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 386.4 119.503703932 323% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 69.2 23.324526521 297% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 20.8 5.70786347227 364% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.25449101796 362% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 8.20758483034 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285971294993 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.13430900977 0.0743258471296 181% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103457757988 0.0701772020484 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13430900977 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.103457757988 0.0628817314937 165% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 39.5 14.3799401198 275% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -15.48 48.3550499002 -32% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 17.1 7.1628742515 239% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 32.6 12.197005988 267% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 16.27 12.5979740519 129% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.49 8.32208582834 138% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 59.0 12.3882235529 476% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 29.6 11.1389221557 266% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 30.0 11.9071856287 252% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.