The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava."The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of s

Essay topics:

The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The budgeting committee for the city of Calatrava has presented a suggestion that a significant portion of funds currently dedicated to the public-school system and recreational facilities be shifted to city programs created for adults. The support for this budget recommendation comes from the declining birthrate in the city. The committee believes that this rate will continue to drop, resulting in a decreased number of students enrolled in the public-school system. However, before this budget proposal can be evaluated, three major pieces of evidence must be examined.
The first piece of evidence lacking from the proposal is the fact that adults do not make use of city-funded athletic playing fields and recreational facilities. If it were the case, for example, that Calatrava was home to a popular adult soccer league which conducted its games on city-owned soccer fields semiweekly, then these teams would have nowhere to play after the city stopped funding the fields and allowed them to reduce in quality, becoming overgrown and unusable. It is also possible that a significant population of the adults in Calatrava would often utilize a city recreation center that provided them with a space to simultaneously exercise and socialize. If it were true that adults make use of city-funded recreational facilities or would make use of them if more money was budgeted toward them, then the goal of the proposed budget would not be achieved.
Secondly, the proposal does not provide evidence that people would not move away due to upset at the lack of funding for the public-school system and recreational facilities. For example, the few families remaining in Calatrava might be driven to move to a different school district where the quality of education is higher due to more of the city budget there being dedicated to children and their schooling. There is also a possibility that adult population of the city will not increase as suggested in the proposal because even the adults inhabiting Calatrava will not remain in the city after the budget adjustment. If people were to move away from the city, then the proposed budget plan would facilitate more harm than good.
Finally, there is no evidence in the proposal that the birthrate will not increase at some point over the following decade. For example, if there were a large corporation located in Calatrava that began to bring in families and adults planning to start families, then the lack of budgeting for these families’ children would become a problem. Furthermore, there is a possibility that as the children in Calatrava grow into young adults themselves, they will begin to reproduce and fill the public-school system again. If one of these possibilities occurred, resulting in a resurgence in the child population of Calatrava, then the proposed budget would be ill-prepared.
Therefore, the proposal presented by the budget committee is currently flawed due to a lack of evidence that adults will not be upset by the budget shift, that the population will not decrease due to upset over the change, and that Calatrava will not experience a rise in birthrate over the next decade. If the budget committee could provide this evidence, their argument would be strengthened significantly.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 331, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...m the declining birthrate in the city. The committee believes that this rate will ...
^^^
Line 1, column 579, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...or pieces of evidence must be examined. The first piece of evidence lacking from...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2751.0 2260.96107784 122% => OK
No of words: 529.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20037807183 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79583152331 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92049663022 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.423440453686 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 888.3 705.55239521 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 63.7793263459 57.8364921388 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 152.833333333 119.503703932 128% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.3888888889 23.324526521 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.44444444444 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17830348886 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0691700368872 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.037509777549 0.0701772020484 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114849249655 0.128457276422 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0248465410759 0.0628817314937 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.8 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.