The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The parent in the letter argues to replace the Swift Nutrition vendor with another vendor this is based on the premise that the Swift vendor offers low-fat, low-calorie food which the students does not like much. At fist the argument sounds logical and true but there are several questions which need to be answered in order to make the argument sounds reasonable. The following are the 3 important questions that need to be answered.
Firstly The letter says that swift nutrition serves low-fat and low-calorie food which the students don't like. What if there are some students who like the food ? There can be a possibility that only the parent who is complaining his student and his friends only they don't like. There is no data or piece of information available which says that maximum students don't like it. What if the students complaining about the food eats only junk food which will automatically hamer the health of the student. If there would have been issue in food like the quality is not good than it could be a serious issue. But there is no such statement made on quality of food. So the parents should motivate there students to eat healthy food.
Secondly, The parent says that keeping the same vendor will motivate the students to bring less healthier food form home. This statement is in itself not correct as by changing the vendor there can be a possibility that the new vendor also sells less healthier food so in this case it will also affect the heath from the student. There is no proper solution provided by the parent in the letter. What if the students are keen of eating not healthier food and they don't like salad soo her also it will deteriorate the health of student.
Lastly, the letter starts with Last year , Does this issue still exits today? , are there problems related to food still today?. There is no such proof about the issue for the current time. There should have been a proper evidence about the facts that the parent is saying, Without that the argument given by the parent is not justifiable.
In conclusion, As the argument now stays full of questions that are not answered properly.
Questions like count of students who don’t like such food, Does this problem still exits today?,does the student only like junk food. Answers to such questions will make the argument reasonable and strong,
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 1892 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.581 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.265 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.948 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 101, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...and low-calorie food which the students dont like. What if there are some students w...
^^^^
Line 3, column 269, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...g his student and his friends only they dont like. There is no data or piece of info...
^^^^
Line 3, column 364, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ilable which says that maximum students dont like it. What if the students complain...
^^^^
Line 3, column 505, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ically hamer the health of the student. If there would have been issue in food lik...
^^
Line 3, column 514, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had been'?
Suggestion: had been
...mer the health of the student. If there would have been issue in food like the quality is not g...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 92, Rule ID: LESS_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean 'less healthy'?
Suggestion: less healthy
...dor will motivate the students to bring less healthier food form home. This statement is in it...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 247, Rule ID: LESS_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean 'less healthy'?
Suggestion: less healthy
...sibility that the new vendor also sells less healthier food so in this case it will also affec...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 465, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...n of eating not healthier food and they dont like salad soo her also it will deterio...
^^^^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...iorate the health of student. Lastly, the letter starts with Last year , Does ...
^^
Line 7, column 42, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...astly, the letter starts with Last year , Does this issue still exits today? , ar...
^^
Line 7, column 80, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ar , Does this issue still exits today? , are there problems related to food stil...
^
Line 10, column 96, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , does
...od, Does this problem still exits today?,does the student only like junk food. Answer...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, still, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1948.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 407.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.78624078624 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.3299207361 2.78398813304 84% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.422604422604 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 575.1 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.6333075761 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.5454545455 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.68181818182 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184416371853 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0609187445221 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0804941794187 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0943160429145 0.128457276422 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0660448335885 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 48.3550499002 145% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 12.197005988 65% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.93 8.32208582834 83% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 98.500998004 63% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.