In mentioned newsletter, the author is offering establishing dance studio space, in order to decrease and stop dementia, which has been observed by a novel therapy, that is able to control and decrease the incidence of dementia more than lots of other exercises like swimming, playing tennis or bicycling. This argument would seem cogent at first glance; however, by analyzing it elaborately, we would encounter with lots of issues.
The first assumption about author's argument is that he mentioned that a 21-year study has shown decrease in dementia, by dancing, more than other sports, but the bleak picture which should be more shed on is, that he has not argued that such experiment has been conducted on how many people. Also he has not talked about their ages, or whether they have been women or men, since it would differ for them. What is more, he has not offered any statistical reports about how dancing was effective, and how it has decreased dementia. Hence, all mentioned points should be more considered.
Another assumption is that he said that there are lots of places like pools, tennis courts and fitness centers, but not dancing studio space. There is a possibility that dance studio space has not been made yet, because people have not shown any tendency toward it. It means that there is a possibility, that even by making such places, people do not prefer to go there, owing to their different tastes in different sports. Therefore, making a new dance studio space will not guarantee improvement in dancing and as the result, in decreasing dementia.
What is more, the author believed, by making such cost-effective place, positive way to ward off dementia would be possible; while, he has not said any thing about the costs, and how such idea would decrease such money, whether this decrease is significant or not. Another notion which he has not mentioned is that even if such place were established, who is to say certainly, that dementia would be decreased.There are lots of ways that would cause dementia even when a person dances.
To wrap up, the author was not able to offer a cogent, well analyzed and compelling idea, therefore, mentioned doubts should be cast on more.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. you guess 'There is a possibility that dance studio space has not been made yet,'
argument 3 -- not OK. you guess ' he has not said any thing about the costs,'
The main point is that the dancing program can prevent the onset of dementia not cure dementia. So there is no evidence to show off the benefits of dancing for those already affected with dementia
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 374 350
No. of Characters: 1774 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.398 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.743 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.428 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.546 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.391 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.659 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.205 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5