The West Meria Public Health Council is suggesting new ways that can combat absenteeism in their schools and workplaces. Due to a report that correlates the amount of fish that is consumed to minimal amounts of Doctor visits a year, the West Meria Public Health council is recommending the daily use of Ichthaid – a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil - to prevent colds and ultimately lower absenteeism in the community. However, in order to deem this credible, much specific evidence is needed to further strengthen their claim.
First, significant research is needed to support the claim that eating a substantial amount of fish will reduce Doctor visits. Although fish consumption is very high in nearby East Meria, it is not clear that this is the reason why people only visit the Doctor once or twice per year. It is possible that many other factors such as lack of insurance or environmental factors can account for the health quality of individuals. For example, if those in the East Meria community are physically active because they catch a lot of their own fish, it is possible that their quality of health is due to their physical well-being and not because of how much fish they are consuming. External factors such as these have a big impact on why or why not people are going to the Doctors and are extremely important to account for. These hidden factors ignored by the author thus weaken the recommendation.
Secondly, we need to provide significant evidence that Ichthaid is actually able to fight colds just as well as regular consumption of fish. Even if it is true that eating fish can prevent colds, will the benefits derived from a nutritional supplement have the same impact on a person as much as real fish does? The author suggests that since Ichthaid is a supplement derived from fish oil, it’s benefits must be equivalent to eating fish itself. However, the author does not provide enough data to support this claim. Along with this, we must provide qualitative data regarding proper dosage of this supplement to each individual. Clearly, children who take this supplement will have a different dosage requirement than adults do due to biological size and metabolism.
In order to strengthen this argument that eating a copious amount of fish will reduce time at the Doctor’s and thus, reduce absences in school, a control group consisting of people not eating fish must be present. By introducing a population that does not eat any fish and comparing how often they visit the Doctors each year for a cold, we will be able to better represent the actual correlation of these claims. Since the initial study produced by the West Meria Public Health organization failed to do this comparison, there is no premises to compare the actual impact of eating fish or not eating fish.
In conclusion, the claim that taking Ichthaid daily to prevent colds and absenteeism is rather weak. If the author takes into account the potential evidence behind the event and can better compare those who eat a significant amount of fish to those who do not, the argument would be greatly strengthened. Without the additional evidence to support, the recommendation cannot bring the efficacious effects as predicted.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 542 350
No. of Characters: 2642 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.825 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.875 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.638 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.81 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.55 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.522 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 528, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are no premises'?
Suggestion: there are no premises
...anization failed to do this comparison, there is no premises to compare the actual impact of eating ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, however, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, for example, in conclusion, such as, as well as, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2717.0 2260.96107784 120% => OK
No of words: 543.0 441.139720559 123% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00368324125 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82725184711 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72516444914 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 204.123752495 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.454880294659 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 831.6 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.0975216986 57.8364921388 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.380952381 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8571428571 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.106489978515 0.218282227539 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0359008211247 0.0743258471296 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0533113903936 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0709232858181 0.128457276422 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0599875945885 0.0628817314937 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.