The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."
The advertising director of Super Screen Movie Production Company, hereafter the company, assumes that according to a recent report from the marketing department, while the company is producing good movies as the percentage of good movie reviews were increased last year, fewer audiences attended to the company's movies last year. While tempting, this argument made by the director mistakenly overlooked important factors that might have affected the decrease in movie audiences.
While the director is assuming that the decline of movie watchers of the Company's movies is because of lack of public advertising, some questions are needed to be answered. Last year there was the lowest attended people who watched the company's movies. In order to see what caused this problem, we need to see general scope of the movie industry as a whole. Maybe it was the company alone that had lowest attended people, it was entire movie industry that had lowest attended people. Due to development of new technologies and services that use them, people are not going to theaters to watch movies. They could download movies from home or use services like Netflix to watch them. It was just fewer people attended to theaters. We need to see exact profit analysis that shows where they are profiting and what media people are preferring. Moreover, this could have resulted in part due to the economic downturn, people were not affluent enough to go to watch movies.
The number of total movies that were produced last year is also remaining unclear. If the total number of movies that the company produced last year was lowest in any other year, then the number of audiences could also be the lowest as not many people can attend to the movies by the company. This small number of movies may cause the increase in good movie reviews, as a small number of total movies and a small number of good movies would easily get percents increased. Even if they made good movies and reviewers were discerning, there are other factors that could cause the lowest attendance, but not from lack of advertising; not only made the company good movies but also other companies made even better movies. We also need to see how much they are spending their advertising budget and where compared to other companies. increasement of budget alone does not guarantee the success of the advertisement. There is a chance that they are using sufficient budget but they were not perspicaciously spending.
Although good movie reviews are good, that alone does not guarantee that they are good for the public. This means that the increase of advertising budget alone, and lack of good advertising were only factors that could save the company. While the public cares about what experts are reviewing, public's penchant for purchase might not exactly correlate with the expert's view. The public has their own preference that is sometimes criticized by the experts. The company last year might have produced movies that are apt for experts but are not for general movie watchers. It is possible that the movies were adequately advertised. The movies were just not enough for the public last year. Good movie reviews do not mean that movie will be successful in marketing. Some successful movies were actually criticized pungently by movie reviewers.
In conclusion, the increase of the advertising budget alone will not save the company. There could be other reasons why the company's movies were not selling in theaters. We should look for other reasons that could explain the situation. Just increasing the budget of advertisement alone will not increase the people watching the company's movies. Rather, it could be just an extravagant move that the company made.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- we don't just argue:
According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year.
we need to argue them together:
According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year.
argument 2 -- it is wrong for the numbers:
The number of total movies that were produced last year is also remaining unclear.
argument 3 -- issues with this statement: 'Although good movie reviews are good, that alone does not guarantee that they are good for the public.', here 'positive reviews by movie reviewers' are not only for experts. Everybody can have positive reviews.
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suggestions:
the better way to argue is:
first, paraphrase the prompts, and then argue accordingly. if not, the arguments will go here and there. not well organized.
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement:
condition 1:
According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. //
suppose there are 10 movies, and only one specific Super Screen movies got more positive reviews, If the reviews of other 9 movies are not positive, the argument that increasing the budget on advertisement would surely increase the number of viewers would not be convincing.
condition 2:
Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available.//
the author should ask questions whether informing the public of the positive reviews would surely convince people to come to theaters to watch their movies. people may watch online or DVD... Or, there are other competing movies this year that attracts more people.
conclusion:
Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising.//
the author still unreasonably assumes that advertisement is the best and the only effective way of informing the public of their movies. need to know the previous reports regarding to the effectiveness of advertisement, or how people would react to the movie advertisement.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 616 350
No. of Characters: 3052 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.982 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.955 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.428 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 216 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 147 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 111 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.871 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.866 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.484 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.486 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.161 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 394, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'had the lowest'.
Suggestion: had the lowest
...le. Maybe it was the company alone that had lowest attended people, it was entire movie in...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 456, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'had the lowest'.
Suggestion: had the lowest
...ople, it was entire movie industry that had lowest attended people. Due to development of ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 824, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...hey are profiting and what media people are preferring. Moreover, this could have resulted in ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 370, Rule ID: SMALL_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, use 'a few', or use 'some'
Suggestion: a few; some
... the increase in good movie reviews, as a small number of total movies and a small number of good...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 405, Rule ID: SMALL_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, use 'a few', or use 'some'
Suggestion: a few; some
..., as a small number of total movies and a small number of good movies would easily get percents i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 830, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Increasement
... and where compared to other companies. increasement of budget alone does not guarantee the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, if, look, may, moreover, so, then, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 39.0 19.6327345309 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 28.8173652695 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3110.0 2260.96107784 138% => OK
No of words: 616.0 441.139720559 140% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0487012987 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98190197535 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5101980396 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.378246753247 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 971.1 705.55239521 138% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 4.96107784431 282% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 19.7664670659 162% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 58.4582850736 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.1875 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.25 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.375 5.70786347227 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240447320398 0.218282227539 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0669406288291 0.0743258471296 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0712631264309 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161321872556 0.128457276422 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.099209177076 0.0628817314937 158% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.