In this argument, the author concludes that a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable. To substantiate the conclusion, the author provides several facts that support the line of reasoning. However, the line of reasoning is problematic and therefore the author needs to provide more evidence to support the argument.
First, the author has to provide evidence as to whether the local market is big enough for the jazz music club to make profit. Indeed, the proposed new jazz club in would have the local market all to itself because there is no local jazz music club currently, while it is possible that the local market is so small that even the full market share cannot support just one jazz music club to make profit. The possibility would be augmented given that the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away currently, otherwise there would have been jazz music clubs in Monroe. Without taking this possibility into consideration, the argument is not convincing.
Second, another piece of evidence needed is as to whether the popularity of annual jazz festival last summer is a special case. It is possible that there are many tourists attending this festival last year, who just live in Monroe for a while and cannot make up a constant market for a local jazz music club. And the favor of the jazz festival does not mean the willing to patronize jazz music clubs, which needs further evidence to identify. Without ruling out these possibilities, the argument is not reliable.
Third, the author has to provide evidence as to whether several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe can represent the popularity among residents in Monroe. It is possible that musicians perform outside, and the highest-rated radio program is just because there are no substitute programs in that period. Therefore, jazz music club may be not popular in Monroe at all. In that case, the conclusion of the author would be groundless.
Forth, it is necessary to provide evidence as to whether the result of the nationwide study is applied appropriately to the situation in Monroe. It is possible that there are many differences in Monroe. For example, the development of economy in Monroe may be far less than the average national level, making residents there unaffordable to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. Moreover, even the result is applied equally to Monroe, it is questionable whether $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment is enough to make profit for clubs, which needs further evidence. Without ruling out these possibilities, the argument is not reasonable.
To sum up, the author fails to substantiate the conclusion because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend credible support to what the author maintains. To make the argument more convincing, the author needs to provide more evidence as mentioned above.
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 476 350
No. of Characters: 2351 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.671 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.939 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.664 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.819 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.358 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.576 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 43, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...rst, the author has to provide evidence as to whether the local market is big enough for the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 45, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...nd, another piece of evidence needed is as to whether the popularity of annual jazz festival ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 43, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...ird, the author has to provide evidence as to whether several well-known jazz musicians live ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 44, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...th, it is necessary to provide evidence as to whether the result of the nationwide study is a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 341, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
..., making residents there unaffordable to ,000 per year on jazz entertainment. More...
^^
Line 9, column 461, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ly to Monroe, it is questionable whether ,000 per year on jazz entertainment is en...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, therefore, third, well, while, as to, for example, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2416.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 476.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0756302521 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76588695367 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.399159663866 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 765.0 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.2905648077 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.818181818 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6363636364 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.86363636364 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.224607113916 0.218282227539 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0735946117931 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0878649809711 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11724429871 0.128457276422 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.069728580224 0.0628817314937 111% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.