An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet. Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The people of tagus deserve a satisfactory solution to the problem of vitamin A deficiency and although this new breed of millet is a step in the right direction, there are some very serious questions that need to be raised before we can readily accept this solution and integrate it into the tagus community. A few of these the things we would need to further investigate would be the similarity of the millet to the previous "staple" millet, the use of the new millet compared to the old millet, and the willingness of farmers to make this new millet, regardless of the new subsidies.
To begin, we need to address how similar this new millet will be to the millet the people of tagus are used to. For instance, if we knew that the new millet now had a more metallic taste because of the ingredients included to make it high in vitamin A, the people may dislike this new variety and continue to use the previous millet option. another thing to consider is if this new millet had a different consistency when cooked. it is possible that the people of tagus used the previous millet when cooking certain recipes and now the new millet would not be possible to use the same way because it was too soft, for instance. perhaps the most important factor when comparing this millet to the previous millet would be the price. if the residents of tagus cannot afford this new variety, no one will decide to use it. if people decide not to use the new millet, then they would not have the chance to benefit from the new formula.
another thing that was not considered in this argument was whether or not this millet would need to be taken in conjunction with anything to be effective. For instance, many medications and vitamins we have in the United States suggest taking the supplement with food or water. we are not aware if there is a food or water shortage in tagus that may reduce the effectiveness of the new millet. another possibilites is that maybe the millet must be prepared in a way that the tagus people are not familar with or do not have access too. For instance, maybe they need to heat the millet to a certain temperature before they ingest it but they do not have the resources to heat the millet in such a way. if any of the above were the case, the new millet may not work in the way it was originally designed to work.
Finally, this argument would not be effective without knowing if the farmers would be willing to produce such a millet. this new millet may go against the moral or religious beliefs of some of the famers because it was engineered to be high in vitamin A and it did not come from a natural source. another possibilities is that regardless of the increased subsidies, the way they must now produce this millet will damage their land and it would not be a worth-while investment for them to ruin their property in order to produce it. perhaps this new millet may even be radically more difficult to produce and the farmers don't want to bother making it. if the farmers are not willing to create this millet, than the tagus people wouldn't have access to it in the first place.
although this newly engineered millet may be a solution to the problem of vitamin A deficiency, we would need to consider the above questions, and many more, before we could implement this solution. there are many reasons this solution may not work in this community; it would be best to consider such factors before continuing with this plan.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- no. need to argue:
'To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet. '
argument 3 -- no. need to argue:
'While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet.'
//maybe the cost is over the subsidies
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 628 350
No. of Characters: 2778 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.006 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.424 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.393 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 57.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.367 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.507 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.742 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.335 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 342, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Another
...inue to use the previous millet option. another thing to consider is if this new millet...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 431, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ad a different consistency when cooked. it is possible that the people of tagus us...
^^
Line 3, column 629, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Perhaps
... because it was too soft, for instance. perhaps the most important factor when comparin...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 733, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...the previous millet would be the price. if the residents of tagus cannot afford th...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Another
...ce to benefit from the new formula. another thing that was not considered in this a...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 60, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...was not considered in this argument was whether or not this millet would need to be taken in c...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 279, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...king the supplement with food or water. we are not aware if there is a food or wat...
^^
Line 5, column 395, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Another
...ce the effectiveness of the new millet. another possibilites is that maybe the millet m...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 702, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...urces to heat the millet in such a way. if any of the above were the case, the new...
^^
Line 7, column 121, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...ld be willing to produce such a millet. this new millet may go against the moral or ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 186, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ainst the moral or religious beliefs of some of the famers because it was engineered to be ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 298, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Another
... it did not come from a natural source. another possibilities is that regardless of the...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 320, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[4]
Message: You should probably use: 'are'.
Suggestion: are
...a natural source. another possibilities is that regardless of the increased subsid...
^^
Line 7, column 621, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...re difficult to produce and the farmers dont want to bother making it. if the farmer...
^^^^
Line 7, column 728, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...eate this millet, than the tagus people wouldnt have access to it in the first place. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
...ve access to it in the first place. although this newly engineered millet may be a s...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 200, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...efore we could implement this solution. there are many reasons this solution may not ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, may, so, then, while, another thing, as to, for instance, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 32.0 12.9520958084 247% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 28.8173652695 205% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 55.5748502994 146% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2850.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 626.0 441.139720559 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.55271565495 5.12650576532 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.00199880112 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50243988769 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.362619808307 0.468620217663 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 917.1 705.55239521 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.7144107228 57.8364921388 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.545454545 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.4545454545 23.324526521 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.59090909091 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.25449101796 324% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.419034931511 0.218282227539 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.16489518575 0.0743258471296 222% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0629646917945 0.0701772020484 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.279723091191 0.128457276422 218% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0827053011312 0.0628817314937 132% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.41 12.5979740519 75% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.45 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 28.5 12.3882235529 230% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.