An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus is promoting the use of new breed of millet, high in vitamin A. This new breed of millet is supposed to reduce the vitamin A deficiency of people in Tagus.
However, there are many aspects that need to be looked into which will help decide if consuming new breed of millet will lead to removing the deficiency of vitamin A in people. Some of the aspect are discussed below in detail:
1. Does the new breed of millet taste same as the old one? If not, people might not eat it and the objective of this whole activity is not achieved.
2. The seeds of new breed cost more and even though farmers are paid the subsidies for their farming, is that cost enough? Are any other extra farming techniques used for its proper growth? Are present farming conditions enough for their proper growth? The farmers need to be educated about the appropriate growth conditions of these seeds.
3. The organisation that produced these seeds, have they conducted proper tests for the consumption of these seeds? If proper tests are not conducted, it might lead to some side effects that nobody is aware of and as a result, it might lead to some other deficiencies.
4. The government is doing everything to promote this millet only. There are other ways also to increase vitamin A content in human body. Natural sources can help in best possible way. For example, encouraging people of Tagus to eat more vegetables and fruits rich in vitamin A can also be a good solution. To encourage eating of vitamin A rich food, the government can reduce the costs of such food items.
5. Before developing the cure, was it analysed what were the causes of the deficiency? What led to only vitamin A deficiency among most of the people in Tagus. There might be something else that might be negating the effect of vitamin A consumed. So supplying more of vitamin A rich food would not solve the purpose in that situation.
After all the above aspects are analysed, only then the desired results can be achieved.
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Sentence: The organisation that produced these seeds, have they conducted proper tests for the consumption of these seeds?
Error: organisation Suggestion: organization
Sentence: After all the above aspects are analysed, only then the desired results can be achieved.
Error: analysed Suggestion: analyzed
flaws:
The arguments are correct, but not in the right format. should be like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
don't put numbers before the paragraphs. It is not a report.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1630 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.515 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.405 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.885 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.411 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.269 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.238 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5