The argument presented in the essay is that Humana University's online program is going to be successful both financially and academically given that a similar program is successful in a nearby Omni University. Although the argument is presented as if success is imminent in the said online transformation, the claim can look dubious without further evidence.
Firstly, the author assumes that Omni University is successful in it's online pursuit. But the parameters of success are vaguely defined. The evidence presented is that online enrollement has increased while the expenditure on physical infracstructure is reduced. However, the capital for setting up the online infrastructure is unspecified putting the financial success of Omni Univesity in question. It could very well be the case that transferring all the courses onto the internet based progarmme required a huge investment which left Omni University with no funds for dormitories and classrooms. Such a case could be considered a financial failure rather than a success and a detailed assessment of Omni's financial strategy is needed because Humana University already dealing with a big budget problem.
Secondly, the only similarity presented between Humana University and Omni University is that they are present in the same locality. But they could very well be dealing with different fields of study. One could be a fine arts university while other could be a robotics based institute. In one case, it could be very amenable to shifting online while the other would require extensive spending further depleting the university funds. But a strong conclusion is made that since such a program is already successful in Omni university it is bound to be successful in Humana. Also another conclusion is made about increase in enrollment rates would follow because it took place in Omni. The driving force for falling enrollment in Humana could be structural reasons such as fall in demand for the courses taught by Humana. Or lack of quality teachers and analogously the increase in Omni's enrollment could be because of better teaching standards and more takers for the respective subjects. If this is indeed the case, moving Humana's courses online would be a futile exercise.
Thirdly, the finacial viability of the whole project is completely ignored. Omni University could be sitting on huge cash reserves and could be offering free promo courses resulting in a huge jump in students enrolled. But it is established that Humana's pecuniary situation is tight. Also, the competition on the online space is completely ignored. On the internet, Humana University will have to compete many established players such as Coursera by Stanford and MIT OpenX since it is an open platform for everyone. In contrast, Omni could be the first to offer it's specializations online.
In conclusion, it is not clear whether Omni university is actually successful in its endeavour. Further an analogy is drawn with Omni based on just the locality. Also, the financial viability of the whole project as well as the supply demand situation of this whole project is not discussed. Consequently, it would be imprudent to assume this would result in a success without a a thorough analysis and further evidence on the above mentioned issues.
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Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not exactly or not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- need to argue:
We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 526 350
No. of Characters: 2721 1500
No. of Different Words: 242 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.789 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.173 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.865 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 215 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 177 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 119 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 77 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.481 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.295 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.815 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.293 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.467 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.056 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 573, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...it is bound to be successful in Humana. Also another conclusion is made about increa...
^^^^
Line 9, column 378, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: a
... this would result in a success without a a thorough analysis and further evidence ...
^^^
Line 9, column 378, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... this would result in a success without a a thorough analysis and further evidenc...
^
Line 9, column 378, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'a' is left.
Suggestion: a; a
... this would result in a success without a a thorough analysis and further evidence ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, consequently, first, firstly, however, if, look, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, well, while, in conclusion, in contrast, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 42.0 19.6327345309 214% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2772.0 2260.96107784 123% => OK
No of words: 526.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.26996197719 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78901763229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92841333804 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.460076045627 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 914.4 705.55239521 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.5040660539 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.666666667 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4814814815 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.22222222222 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176297697642 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0586312538625 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.042992602114 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110571664767 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0343961187879 0.0628817314937 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.3550499002 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 137.0 98.500998004 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.