In a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States."For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling chees

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In a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

In the above passage, its said that the owner of the shop has declared that the best way for him to improve his profits in all his stores is to discontinue stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese and focus mainly on domestic ones. This is cited on the basis of two things: First, is the sales of his newly opened branch, last year, which had top 5 selling cheeses as the domestic ones. And the second, is a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine, which also showed the increasing preference of domestic cheeses among its subscribers.

Definately for any product to make a profit, it is important to increase the number of sales of that product. But, that is not the only factor always that leads to improved profit. Profit is based on many factors like number of sales of a product, increase in demand, reducing the wastes, reducing the production of less saled products, marketing strategies, etc. Therefore, it is valid for the owner to think of focusing on domestic cheeses if its the best selling product and reduce imported varieties, if they are not sold much. However, but the data that the owner has cited above, is too limited to make such a conclusion.

Firstly, nothing is mentioned about the number of sales of the imported cheeses: Was it zero, less, very very less? If a ratio could be derived in the percent of increase in the domestic cheeses to the percent of decrease (if any) in the imported cheeses sale; then we could have a comparable data for deriving the overall profit. But the data given above was only one-sided. Plus, it just mentioned that domestic cheeses were the best-selling cheese items; not mentioning whether they were the top profit making items. It is possible that inspite of being the best selling, if the production was much more than the sales, it can still give a loss, or less profit overall.

Secondly, a profit is the difference between entire selling price and entire cost price; which might not be limited only to the two products in the shop, that are, imported or domestic cheeses products. Other products like bread, meat, etc, if any, should also be taken in consideration, while revising the strategy of profits. Their sales might also have gone down as per their production rates, leading to reduce the average profit.

Thirdly, its intruiging to know, inspite of having a chain of stores all over the United States, why does the owner consider the result of just one newly opened store; and generalising that result for all the remaining stores. Instead a more valid data will be one in which an average of all his stores sales for all products is calculated on the bases of demand and supply, and then derive a result. This will be a better way of creating a profit improving strategies, rather than just generalizing it from one store.

Also, if improving the profit is the desired result, the owner can also focus on factors like having some combo offers for imported plus domestic cheeses purchased together; or discounts on the imported cheeses for more people to try using it and then resuming the prices when they get used to eating it (well if its sale is too low, which we dont know) ; and such more marketing strategies can be used.

Finally, even Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers; which might or might not be reliable/valid; depending on whether enough number of people were surveyed; and whether the crowd surveyed was the same that comes in the areas where the author's shops are located in the US; also whether this increasing preference over domestic cheeses is over the imported one or not, is also not mentioned. These are important factors, to know whether this survey really matters to the sales of the stores owner or not.

Thus, in order to improve the profits of the stores it is very impoortant to consider all the above points and then derive a conclusion.

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Sentence: Profit is based on many factors like number of sales of a product, increase in demand, reducing the wastes, reducing the production of less saled products, marketing strategies, etc. Therefore, it is valid for the owner to think of focusing on domestic cheeses if its the best selling product and reduce imported varieties, if they are not sold much.
Error: saled Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: It is possible that inspite of being the best selling, if the production was much more than the sales, it can still give a loss, or less profit overall.
Error: inspite Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Thirdly, its intruiging to know, inspite of having a chain of stores all over the United States, why does the owner consider the result of just one newly opened store; and generalising that result for all the remaining stores.
Error: inspite Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: intruiging Suggestion: intriguing

Sentence: Thus, in order to improve the profits of the stores it is very impoortant to consider all the above points and then derive a conclusion.
Error: impoortant Suggestion: important

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argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- not OK. it is out of topic. Loopholes wanted, don't need suggestions.

argument 3 -- OK

argument 4 -- not OK. it is out of topic. Loopholes wanted, don't need suggestions.

argument 5 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 685 350
No. of Characters: 3155 1500
No. of Different Words: 259 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.116 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.606 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.35 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 217 100
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No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.136 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.447 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.61 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5