Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium—substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the argument writer talks about osteoporosis, due to which the bones get to weaken significantly with age. To maintaining bones the vitamin C and calcium-substances are essential. But in the argument the writer discussed about a study which shows that the milk and dairy products has opposite effect on osteoporosis patients. There are flaws in assumptions of writer which fails to conclude the final idea. Therefore, lack of evidence makes the argument weaken.
Moreover, the writer talked about a long-term study to analyze the effect of milk and dairy products on osteoporosis sufferers. In the referred study it is not mentioned the subjects have only osteoporosis or any other disease is also present. Before relying on any study, we should check its reliability and in the given study the writer did not explain about sample of the study which makes it weaken. Similarly, as mentioned in argument the osteoporosis is linked with environmental as well as with genetic factors which clearly shows that genetic problems take time to mitigate. It may possible that most patient in the study sample have genetic disorder so that fractured their bones. So, it may plausible that reason for most fractures is not milk and dairy products and these products good for osteoporosis patient.
Furthermore, milk and dairy products have different qualities due to different companies. In given long-term study it is also not sure whether the quality of milk and dairy products is good or not so good. For example, in India there are different companies which sell milk and dairy products and every product have different level of calcium and protein level. The writer did not say anything about the product which makes weak argument which brings to topic of discussion. When someone drinks good quality milk for at least more than six months then the calcium level definitely raised. And the researcher did not mention calcium level in both pre and post state of research.
Additionally, it may plausible that the patient’s calcium raised but some of them get fracture due to accident. The fracture is one of the symptoms of osteoporosis and at the same time we can understand that it may cause due an accident. The writer talked about only milk and dairy products whereas we all know the sun rays is rich source of vitamin D. Vitamin D helps in synthesis of calcium and makes our bones stronger. So, the writer conclude that the milk and dairy products increases the risk of osteoporosis rather than help to decrease it absolutely fallacious without strong evidences.
On the basis of above discussion, the argument needs to be revise before jumping to conclusion that the milk and dairy products increases the osteoporosis. Argument needs evidences and strong researches to prove their point.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 461 350
No. of Characters: 2291 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.634 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.97 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.662 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.043 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.362 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, may, moreover, similarly, so, then, therefore, well, whereas, at least, for example, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 11.1786427146 206% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2346.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 461.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08893709328 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63367139033 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76546891743 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.44251626898 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 729.0 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.1215931162 57.8364921388 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 97.75 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2083333333 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.125 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.288337650361 0.218282227539 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0865449051669 0.0743258471296 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0713338194005 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158953541814 0.128457276422 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0442316515264 0.0628817314937 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.