In the memo, the vice president concludes that building a new store in Plainesville will bring huge profits and contribute to the success of their business. Unfortunately, However, the argument is problematic in the presence of the following alternative explanations that could rival the proposed one in the memo.
To begin with, those above-mentioned facts and reports seem at first glance logical and convincing, but careful verification reveals that the arguer fails to provide any compelling evidence to support the recommendation. First of all, the report of strong sales of exercise apparel does not necessarily indicate that Plainsville residents would be interested in keeping healthy, let alone purchasing Nature's Way's health food. Second, the popularity of the local health club is little indication that the residents in Plainesville live much healthier lives now, and that Nature's way will earn a huge amount of profits from the new store. What's more, the memo contains no evidence to support the assumption that people who exercise regularly are also interested in buying health food and health-related products. In addition,the fact that a certain fitness program is mandatory for Plainesville's schoolchildren accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the recommendation.
Secondly, the vice president is overconfident that setting up a new store will boost the revenue up. Because he does not provide any information regarding the cost of building such a new store in Plainsville and taxes of a long-term business contract with the local government. Perhaps, housing and renting cost for a month is higher than that of other areas and, thus we can not be convinced that the new store will be profitable. Or perhaps, there is a relatively stringent legislative standard for any new store that intends to start its business in Plainsville. There is a strong likelihood that if the business is running not smoothly as it expected, based on a mutual trust with the government, Nature's way is not allowed to terminate the legal contract. In short, without ruling out these possibilities, the vice president's recommendation remains dubious at best.
Finally, the vice president unfairly assumes that Plainesville residents will prefer NW over other merchants that sell similar products. Since there are so many such residents concerning with a healthy life in Plainesville, it is entirely possible that other companies which specialize in manufacturing health food and selling health-related products have already been the top choices for people to choose good quality products because of their existing reputation and famous brand image. It is wise for consumers to buy the safe food from a long-lasting store with good reputation and regular popularity other than a new store.
A company whose products are related to the heath of people's lives, sometimes even affect people's physical and mental condition needs encouragement from the government which grants legal enfranchisement and issues business license and support from the local residents who do benefit from those products, which could achieve much more success in the long run. However, the vice president's recommendation of building a new store in the memo is not likely to significantly persuade the local government to trust unless all of the above-mentioned assumptions are conclusively substantiated.
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Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 524 350
No. of Characters: 2814 1500
No. of Different Words: 264 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.784 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.37 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.099 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 203 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 174 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 124 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 83 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.567 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.557 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 638, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...e amount of profits from the new store. Whats more, the memo contains no evidence to ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 823, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...and health-related products. In addition,the fact that a certain fitness program is ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 517, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...de the local government to trust unless all of the above-mentioned assumptions are conclus...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, thus, in addition, in short, first of all, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2862.0 2260.96107784 127% => OK
No of words: 523.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.47227533461 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78217453174 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.15288308357 2.78398813304 113% => OK
Unique words: 276.0 204.123752495 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527724665392 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 890.1 705.55239521 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 68.9244755753 57.8364921388 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 159.0 119.503703932 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.0555555556 23.324526521 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.16666666667 5.70786347227 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213322746113 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0666180751164 0.0743258471296 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0530508787331 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109441722082 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0602107183811 0.0628817314937 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.9 14.3799401198 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.04 12.5979740519 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.36 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 142.0 98.500998004 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.