In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore s ten video rental stores Since we are famous for our special bargains raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits Last month our

Essay topics:

“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at
Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising
our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown
Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than
9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years
ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering
great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine
Movies Galore stores.”

In the memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore which is a chain of video rental stores, the owner decides that in order to increase the profits of the chain which are recently declining , the only way to do so by not damaging the reputation of the company is to decrease operating expenses. The owner comes to this conclusion based on the improved performance of a store in the chain which decreased its operating expenses. But, before implementing this strategy of decreasing operating costs in all the stores there are certain questions to be answered in order to decide whether this tactic would produce efficacious results.
Firstly, the owner should ask himself the question that , Are all the stores comparable? Owner assumes that all the stores are similar in manner.Perhaps, there must be many stores whose peak time is between 7 p.m to 8 p.m as the people around that stores are mostly free at that time. It is also possible that certain stores are famous for having all kinds of movies the customers want, either it be any old or any new movie. If any of the examples are true then the suggestion of the author to decrease operating expenses in all stores does not hold water.
Secondly, the question that arises is that , Are operating expenses the main reason for decline in profits ? The owner ignores the other factors that might be a cause for decline in profits over last few months. Perhaps, Netflix has decreased its monthly subscription and most people think that why to rent, when I can watch anytime. If it is the case the owner should try to look for ways to offer the content online so as to not run out of business which can eventually happen. In this case reducing operating expenses does not really work because it may work for few months but then same problem repeats. If the above situation exists then authors suggestion does not work in an effective way.
In conclusion , as of now the owner does not clearly specify the reason for decline in profits , If the owner is able to provide more insights about the situation it might be helpful in evaluating the situation. As of now, the probability of success of owner’s suggestion to increase profits is very less.

Votes
Average: 6 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 189, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...f the chain which are recently declining , the only way to do so by not damaging t...
^^
Line 2, column 57, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ner should ask himself the question that , Are all the stores comparable? Owner as...
^^
Line 2, column 146, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Perhaps
...at all the stores are similar in manner.Perhaps, there must be many stores whose peak t...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 207, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e many stores whose peak time is between 7 p.m to 8 p.m as the people around that...
^^
Line 2, column 399, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...of movies the customers want, either it be any old or any new movie. If any of the...
^^
Line 2, column 428, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... either it be any old or any new movie. If any of the examples are true then the s...
^^
Line 3, column 44, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...condly, the question that arises is that , Are operating expenses the main reason ...
^^
Line 3, column 420, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ok for ways to offer the content online so as to not run out of business which can event...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 610, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...w months but then same problem repeats. If the above situation exists then authors...
^^
Line 3, column 678, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an effective way" with adverb for "effective"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...s then authors suggestion does not work in an effective way. In conclusion , as of now the owner ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 15, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ork in an effective way. In conclusion , as of now the owner does not clearly sp...
^^
Line 4, column 96, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...pecify the reason for decline in profits , If the owner is able to provide more in...
^^
Line 4, column 253, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...As of now, the probability of success of owner’s suggestion to increase profits i...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, look, may, really, second, secondly, so, then, as to, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1813.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 384.0 441.139720559 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72135416667 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53050293458 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.502604166667 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 573.3 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.0949080123 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.866666667 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.53333333333 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.188740877347 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0671903996709 0.0743258471296 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.042726939649 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110534345029 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0301980836923 0.0628817314937 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 98.500998004 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 387 350
No. of Characters: 1770 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.435 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.574 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.422 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.502 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.347 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.127 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5