Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.
The annual report sent by Olympic foods to shareholders is flawed due to numerous reasons. Firstly, the report wrongly asserts that processing costs of two vastly different kinds of industries, namely food and colour film, are similar which is a far fetched assumption. Secondly, the report fails to mention how much drop in processing costs can be expected which can have a direct impact on whether or not the company will earn any profit. Then the report makes a very bold conclusion on the basis of their experience in food industry that they will definitely be able to minimise costs without considering whether it is a feasible idea.
The report compares two very different kinds of industries and states that as color film industry was able to reduce processing costs over a period of time, food industry will be to do so as well. The drop in processing costs in color film industry might be due to advancement in technology and availability of cheap processing units over the course of time. There might be a stagnation in the technology involved in food processing industry which might not allow such cost drops. If this might be the case, the graph of processing cost year on year might show a vastly different picture.
The report fails to mention the exact amount of drop percentage that the company expects. If the drop is 50 percent, that will surely impact the profit directly. However, if the drop is less than 5 percent then that will cast doubt on any significant amount of profit that can be observed. It is quite common for the budget of large industry units to spike up for large number of reasons and that will cloud the profit observed in processing unit.
The report also makes a bold conclusion that "experience" is the only factor that will help Olympian food to get a profit. It fails to mention any detailed reason on how experience can actually bring the processing costs down. There a other kinds of scenarios that are possible as well. For example, the company might realise there is little feasibility in bringing the cost down as it would require substantial investment in research and development. Even if the company can afford to do so, there is no guarantee that costs will actually come down and profit will actually yield.
As the report asserts its arguments from wrong comparisons, fails to provide numerical data on the amount of drop expected and also makes strong conclusion on the assumption that "experience" is not only ingredient required to bring the costs down and profits up, it fails to give a strong ground on whether or not Olympian Food will experience profit due to reduced processing costs.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 455 350
No. of Characters: 2154 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.619 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.734 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.671 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 393, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...ected which can have a direct impact on whether or not the company will earn any profit. Then ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 142, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
... able to reduce processing costs over a period of time, food industry will be to do so as well...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 244, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... bring the processing costs down. There a other kinds of scenarios that are possi...
^
Line 7, column 252, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'kind'?
Suggestion: kind
...he processing costs down. There a other kinds of scenarios that are possible as well....
^^^^^
Line 9, column 311, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...up, it fails to give a strong ground on whether or not Olympian Food will experience profit du...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, well, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2224.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 455.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88791208791 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79683261429 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.430769230769 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 678.6 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.9872459554 57.8364921388 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.555555556 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2777777778 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.185417141313 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0688013730038 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0567548797186 0.0701772020484 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109057533365 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0445399009356 0.0628817314937 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.