Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author claims that the Pirouettes school is the clear choice for child because the school offers an intensive program, has teachers who danced in the most prestigious companies and its students became professional dancers. I believe the author is arguments are weak and do not justify why a kid should go to Pirouettes school. The author should take into consideration the different reasons why a kid would go to a ballet school before concluding that it is the clear choice for any child, also the author should provide more evidence on the effectiveness of such intensive programs that the school offers.
First, saying that the school is a clear choice for any child is a bold statement since the word "any" implies that all kids want to go to a go a ballet schools and want to become a professional dancer. In reality, it is not true, some kids like playing football others like to sing, humans are not born to do one thing and become good at one thing. The author should specify who are the targeted kids to join the school before making such bold statement.
Furthermore, the author assumes that the kids who want to go to ballet school are looking for an intensive program, the author fails to clarify why such an intensive program is preferred by kids, the importance of the program in the ballet, and how the intensive program will benefit the ballet dancer. There could be other factors more important than the intensity of the program that would ensure the success of the ballet dancer.
Finally, the author failed to support the statement of "many of our students have gone with top companies" with numbers. Many could mean three, four or a thousand. The author should add numbers and percentages to give a clear picture.
To sum up, the author conclusion contains many flaws, chiefly the bold assumption that all kids would want to join a ballet school and that the intensive programs are very benefcial for ballet dancers. The author should back the conclusion with more solid evidence before providing such recommendation.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-01 | himanshu mardikar | 59 | view |
| 2019-12-17 | srujanakeerthi | 77 | view |
| 2019-12-15 | Chayank_11 | 33 | view |
| 2019-12-05 | Opak Pulu | 69 | view |
| 2019-11-05 | Prudhvi6054 | 79 | view |
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: To sum up, the author conclusion contains many flaws, chiefly the bold assumption that all kids would want to join a ballet school and that the intensive programs are very benefcial for ballet dancers.
Error: benefcial Suggestion: beneficial
flaws:
the arguments are not exactly right on the point.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1656 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.718 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.465 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.214 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.385 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.406 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.67 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 313, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'pirouette'.
Suggestion: Pirouette
...d do not justify why a kid should go to Pirouettes school. The author should take into con...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, furthermore, if, look, so, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1723.0 2260.96107784 76% => OK
No of words: 351.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90883190883 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64813856972 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.45584045584 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 515.7 705.55239521 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 76.9249230548 57.8364921388 133% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.538461538 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.46153846154 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.359216190935 0.218282227539 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.123319280802 0.0743258471296 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.110025953242 0.0701772020484 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189702709536 0.128457276422 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0771875830108 0.0628817314937 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 98.500998004 65% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.