Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The dance school's recommendation of being the clear choice for any child is based on several flawed assumptions. A detailed scrutiny is needed to reach at a coherent and logically sound conclusion.
The starting point that the Ballet school in question, is the clear choice for any child needs more information. There could be a case in the town that the kids are not interested in dance as a profession and take part in other activities more than dance. This would inadvertently weaken the argument. Statistical reports or information that can support the child's keen interest to dancing and quantitiative details would further strengthen the argument.
The dance schools boasts of being intensive compared to other dance schools in Elmtown. Though, it could be true, there is lack of support to link both these points. It could be the case that intensity of the dance training has little effect on the success of the student in the school. Additionally there could be other pressing concerns which decide student's success.
Supporting the claim with additional information would benefit the recommendation of the dance school. The dance school also states about the experience of their teachers in prestigious ballet companies. Similar to above point, a strong relation between the teacher's professional success and the student's success is to be explicitly outlined to add value to the recommendation.
There are other additional parameters on which the recommendation could fail. The fees of the school question could be far more than competing dance schools. Even though, the school provides better coaching, it could be the case that the child's parents are unable to afford such high fees and prefer to get their kids enrolled in cheaper schools.
Overall, the recommendation is based on fairly flawed assumptions. A deeper understanding is required to arrive at a promising conclusion for the given argument. The dance school would benefit from supporting this with quantitative and qualitative data sets. This can further strengthen the argument and add up to the confidence in the said recommendation.
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2020-01-01 | himanshu mardikar | 59 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 288, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...e success of the student in the school. Additionally there could be other pressing concerns ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'so', 'then']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.270618556701 0.25644967241 106% => OK
Verbs: 0.15206185567 0.15541462614 98% => OK
Adjectives: 0.090206185567 0.0836205057962 108% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0360824742268 0.0520304965353 69% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0128865979381 0.0272364105082 47% => OK
Prepositions: 0.0979381443299 0.125424944231 78% => OK
Participles: 0.0463917525773 0.0416121511921 111% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.1429725806 2.79052419416 113% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0309278350515 0.026700313972 116% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.131443298969 0.113004496875 116% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0335051546392 0.0255425247493 131% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00773195876289 0.0127820249294 60% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2160.0 2731.13054187 79% => OK
No of words: 337.0 446.07635468 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.40949554896 6.12365571057 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.57801047555 94% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.376854599407 0.378187486979 100% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.293768545994 0.287650121315 102% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.219584569733 0.208842608468 105% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.154302670623 0.135150697306 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.1429725806 2.79052419416 113% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 207.018472906 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.495548961424 0.469332199767 106% => OK
Word variations: 51.1013468525 52.1807786196 98% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.039408867 100% => OK
Sentence length: 16.85 23.2022227129 73% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.163019253 57.7814097925 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.0 141.986410481 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.85 23.2022227129 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.15 0.724660767414 21% => More Discourse Markers wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.14285714286 117% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 3.58251231527 28% => OK
Readability: 46.2268545994 51.9672348444 89% => OK
Elegance: 2.0641025641 1.8405768891 112% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.478957054788 0.441005458295 109% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0921192697293 0.135418324435 68% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0707972316777 0.0829849096947 85% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.576934454005 0.58762219726 98% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.120879460454 0.147661913831 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.212613618537 0.193483328276 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.12603721546 0.0970749176394 130% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.389185163416 0.42659136922 91% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0748762549021 0.0774707102158 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.330719657729 0.312017818177 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0445554272004 0.0698173142475 64% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.33743842365 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.87684729064 44% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.82512315271 83% => OK
Positive topic words: 11.0 6.46551724138 170% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 5.36822660099 56% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.82389162562 35% => OK
Total topic words: 15.0 14.657635468 102% => OK
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.