In today's world one has to fight constantly in order to survive in the race for the fittest. In the same manner advertising firms need to increase their profits in order to survive the competition. They can do so by encouraging and motivating their employees to work diligently. They could plan policies where the best employee gets a bonus every month or could promote the most efficient employee. Such policies would help the company to boost their profits. Also, the company can change it's marketing policy to promote growth. Advertising their firm, special discounts for the customers, bulk order discounts can all help the business to prosper.
However, the success of any firm has no relation whatsoever with the number of hours the executive sleeps. Some individuals need a maximum of 6 hours of sleep to remain energetic throughout the day whereas, some may need more no of sleeping hours. Also, age plays an important role in the sleeping pattern of an individual.
Also, a mere survey of 300 individuals cannot count for a whole population. The group surveyed maybe stressed. Stress can either increase or decrease the average sleep needed by the body. Environmental conditions also play a major role in sleeping patterns. Due to increased population levels, an individual might feel more tired than he actually is, thus, increasing the number of sleeping hours.
According to the claim, the advertising firms studied showed an increase in profit margin and growth. This was attributed to the average number of sleeping hours of it's executives. This might not hold true. There might be other reasons like increase in sales, high turnover or execution of new policies or a change in the management policies which lead to the higher profits.
Thus, in general the assumption fails to support the claim. The company can improve its profit by the above mentioned techiques. After all, success is sublime. And to achieve it requires combination of diligent workforce and efficient polices.
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Sentence: The company can improve its profit by the above mentioned techiques.
Error: techiques Suggestion: techniques
flaws:
You develop argument essays in a wrong way. It is different to that of issue essays.
You may read some books about GRE essay writings.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 327 350
No. of Characters: 1630 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.252 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.985 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.622 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.217 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.985 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.435 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.253 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.476 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5