A recent survey of 250 adults between the ages of 30 and 45 showed an association between the number of hours adults spend online each day and self reporting of symptoms commonly associated with depression. The survey found that adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely as others to report that they “frequently” had trouble concentrating. Of adults who reported spending more than 30 hours per week online, 20 percent also reported that they had felt “sad, down, or blue” at least three times within the past month.
These results suggest that spending too much time online is linked to depression and people who want to improve their well being should strictly limit the time they spend online.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
With the rapid development of technology and the global spread of the internet, more and more people are using the internet than ever before. But, to some, this may not always be a good thing. Based on the results found in this survey, some of come to believe that spending excessive amounts of time online is directly linked to depression. However, because of the lack of specifics and unstated assumptions, this argument is flawed and should be re-evaluated before their suggestion of reducing online time should be followed.
First, in order for any statistical data or surveys can be considered of value, it has to be rendered statistical significant. This survey in particular is not. For data to be statistically significant, it must have a very large sample size, and of that sample size, the population must be representative of all. The argument developed from this survey suggest that time online should be restricted. It does not specify which part of the population should adhere to this,even though the data only accounts for adults between the ages of 30 and 45. Therefore, the survey is not representative at all. If empirical evidence was necessary to support this argument, a survey with more than 250 people with a range of different age groups would need to be given and analyzed. The original survey is to narrow in scope to make such a grand statement against time online.
Second, the main suggestion states that time online is linked to depression, but depression and its symptoms are never fully defined. The survey, of which these suggestion is based on, has illustrated that the adults who spend 30 hours or more online were twice as likely to report that they have trouble concentrating. How does this relate to depression? More information on what the specific signs and symptoms of depression are and whether or not 'trouble concentrating' is one of them would be necessary to prove that this evidence is relative. Otherwise, this information seems out of scope.
Third, the survey also states that 20 percent of those who spend more than 30 hours per week online has felt 'sad, down or blue' at least three times within the past month. The suggestion assumes that these times of sadness are a direct result of online usage. Yet, the survey never specifies if that is so. Those who have taken the survey may have become sad because of outside unrelated reasons such as a family tragedy or stress. To assume such a cause would be a perfect example of the faulty 'correlation is causation' concept.
Because of the lack of specifics and incorrect assumptions, excessive amounts of time online should not be linked to depression without clarification of these flaws and more empirical research. Only after these questions and concerns are addressed can this suggestion be re- evaluated and a final conclusion be made.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 470, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , even
... of the population should adhere to this,even though the data only accounts for adult...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 794, Rule ID: TO_TOO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
...en and analyzed. The original survey is to narrow in scope to make such a grand st...
^^
Line 3, column 155, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this suggestion' or 'these suggestions'?
Suggestion: this suggestion; these suggestions
...ver fully defined. The survey, of which these suggestion is based on, has illustrated that the a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 435, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...igns and symptoms of depression are and whether or not trouble concentrating is one of them wo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, third, as to, at least, in particular, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2363.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 479.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93319415449 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67825486995 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73867366056 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490605427975 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 757.8 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.471057884232 212% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.2230127009 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.4583333333 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9583333333 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.375 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.195549896077 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0585321203432 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0672602566846 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108266507304 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0578268974207 0.0628817314937 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.