Traffic here in Waymarsh is becoming a problem. Although just three years ago a state traffic survey showed that the typical driving commuter took 20 minutes to get to work, the commute now takes closer to 40 minutes, according to the survey just completed. Members of the town council already have suggested more road building to address the problem, but as well as being expensive; the new construction will surely disrupt some of our residential neighborhoods. It would be better to follow the example of the nearby city of Garnville. Last year Garnville implemented a policy that rewards people who share rides to work, giving them coupons for free gas. Pollution levels in Garnville have dropped since the policy was implemented, and people from Garnville tell me that commuting times have fallen considerably. There is no reason why a policy like Garnville’s shouldn't work equally well in Waymarsh.
The argument that implementing a policy which rewards people who share rides to work, giving them coupons for free gas which will solve the traffic problem of Waymarsh appears logical at first glance. However, this argument is seriously flawed as it is based on certain erroneous assumptions and insufficient data.
Initially author assumes that survey done by the state traffic is best survey. Author is not giving any evidence of authentication of the survey. Hence one can't directly relay on the survey of state traffic.
Another assumption made by the author that, three years ago commuter took 20 min to reach the work but now it is taking forty minutes. There may be possibility that driving commuter is using long route to reach the work place. Author has not given any evidence that commuter is using the same route as he used three years ago.
Also author assumes that due to 'implementing rewarding policy for sharing the ride' caused decreased in the pollution level. But there is no evidence provided for this. It may be possibility that residence of Garnville have started using the government vehicles instead of private vehicle. Also it may be possibility that these people are not using pollution creating vehicle instead using bicycles.
Also author assumes that information given by the people of Garnville about the decrease in commuting time is true. They may have given the false information to falsely represent the success of their government policy.
Ultimately, the argument might've been strengthened had the author provided critical details such as the authenticity of the survey, etc. However, in the absence of the aforementioned details and specifications, the logic of the argument presented by the author falls flat.
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argument 1 -- not OK. // For GRE essays, you will have to accept all surveys or studies are true, but try to find out loopholes behind the survey or study. The correct way to deal with survey or study is like this:
1. Yes, it works for time A, but it doesn't mean it works for time B.
2. Yes, it works for location A, but it doesn't mean it works for location B.
3. Yes, it works for people A, but it doesn't mean it works for people B.
4. Yes, it works for event A, but it doesn't mean it works for event B.
....
argument 2 -- not OK. //for sure it is using same route. This is not the loophole.
argument 3 -- not OK. //again you can't refer something new like 'using bicycles'
argument 4 -- not OK.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 284 350
No. of Characters: 1440 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.105 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.07 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.933 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.457 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.678 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5