Of the two leading real estate firms in our town — Adams Realty and Fitch Realty — Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year

The letter hastily recommend using Adams Realty, because it outdoes the other firm, Fitch Realty. To support this recommendation, the writer pointed out the numbers of the estate agents of each, the size of the last years revenues, and the author's personal experiences. However, the recommendation is not strong enough to persuade others because the claims are based on the assumptions which may not be true.

First, He assumes that more workers denote the superior condition of the firm. However, it is not always true because it is entirely possible that less members mean the efficiency of the company. The 25 agents may be able to generate more money than the 40 agents of the other company. As the evidence, the letter utters the amount of the home sales of the Fitch Realty are of little smaller than the one of the Adam Realty, in despite of the considerable gap between the numbers of the employees.

And the author assumes the part time jobs are inferior to the full time job. But the high proportion of the part time job can be beneficial because it allow the company to react more flexibly to the changing condition. So that it is not proper to presumption that the part time job is less desirable.

Next, the writer assumes that the last year's revenue presents the general record of the company. However, because the letter does not contain any information of the other years, it is excessively hasty to determine the general financial condition of the two companies with the limited information. Because there are possibility that in other years, the other company may have had the bigger size of revenue.

Moreover, Even though the revenue is bigger than the Fitch Realty, we can think of the possibility that the financial stability of the Adam Realty is precarious. Because the letter does not include any detailed information of the revenue. For example, the consumption can be larger than the income.

Last, the author assumes that his experience can be a credible example for his claim. However, personal experience can not be representative for all the cases. Moreover, the writer thinks that the situation would be similar to the present. But there are no reason to believe that the situation would have not been changed. So that his personal experience is not reliable.

Votes
Average: 6.9 (3 votes)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 410, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the assumptions which may not be true. First, He assumes that more workers deno...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 148, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun members is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ue because it is entirely possible that less members mean the efficiency of the comp...
^^^^
Line 5, column 28, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...mployees. And the author assumes the part time jobs are inferior to the full time job....
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 63, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
... the part time jobs are inferior to the full time job. But the high proportion of the par...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 109, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ime job. But the high proportion of the part time job can be beneficial because it allow ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 152, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'allows'?
Suggestion: allows
...t time job can be beneficial because it allow the company to react more flexibly to t...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 269, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...t is not proper to presumption that the part time job is less desirable. Next, the wr...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 40, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'years'' or 'year's'?
Suggestion: years'; year's
... Next, the writer assumes that the last years revenue presents the general record of ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 163, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ility of the Adam Realty is precarious. Because the letter does not include any detaile...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 324, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[3]
Message: “So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... situation would have not been changed. So that his personal experience is not reliable...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 373, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is personal experience is not reliable.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, may, moreover, so, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1920.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 389.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93573264781 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62052475012 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.452442159383 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 608.4 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.4435487438 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.4285714286 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5238095238 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.42857142857 5.70786347227 43% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166128882248 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0450414138559 0.0743258471296 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0591395607035 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.085478043388 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0488780357453 0.0628817314937 78% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 14.3799401198 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 1859 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.779 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.522 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.524 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.582 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5