"Two studies of amphibians in Xanadu National Park confirm a significant decline in the numbers of amphibians. In 1975 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 2002 only four species of amphibians were observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. One proposed explanation is that the decline was caused by the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1975. (Trout are known to eat amphibian eggs.)"
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
A letter is sent to an editor of an environmental magazine refering to amphibians in Xanadu National park and their decline since 1975. The author concludes that trouts which introduced to the park at 1975 are responsible for this decline. He bases this to knowledge from the two surveys and another unmentioned sources. However, some errors the author is making can lead to alternative explanations regarding the conclusion. I found three of them and prioritzed them in the following paragraphs.
In his letter the author bases his conclusion that trout are responsible for the decline in the amphibians species and numbers in two surveys. However, more information is needed in order for these surveys to be creditable. For example, who conducted the surveys, did the same person who conducted the survey in 1975 conducted the survey in 2002? and if yes with the same equipment? Another survey should be conducted now in 2015 in order to find whether this declination continued or not. The factor of time between the two surveys is a factor that need to be taken into much consideration because if the surveys were not conducted under the same circumstances then it would significantly alter their outcome and therefore have a very different explanation for the numbers of aphibians.
The author of the letter is also falling to the post hoc fallacy as he misinterprets the data from the surveys about the decline of aphibians' species and numbers and the introduction of trouts into the water parks which as mentioned began the same period back in the 75s. These two events happening together does not necessarily mean that they are linked to each other with cause-effect connection. For example, if the trouts indeed eat eggs but not amphibian ones, only eggs from species that are known to counteract with aphibians then the proposed explanation will not be valid.
Another culprit in which the author falls is that he assumes that trouts are solely responsible (or if not solely at a large percentage) for the decline in amphibians species and numbers. There could be number of other more plausible explanations such us the pollution in the waters of the Park. Since, 1975 the development of companies and factories, some of them nearby the park or near under earth rivers and streams could seriously lead in an increase in the pollution of water and therefore to the decline in the amphibians. Therefore, more explanation is needed in terms of pollution of waters, a survey perhaps, in order to find out if trout are solely responsible for this decline.
All in all, in this essay the fallacies in which the author fell are demonstrated and a series of alternative explanations that these could lead on were indicated. The editor of the magazine should try to find more data in order to support this article because if published this could lead to a series of measures against trouts that maybe are not responsible for this decline.
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Sentence: A letter is sent to an editor of an environmental magazine refering to amphibians in Xanadu National park and their decline since 1975.
Error: refering Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: I found three of them and prioritzed them in the following paragraphs.
Error: prioritzed Suggestion: priorities
Sentence: The factor of time between the two surveys is a factor that need to be taken into much consideration because if the surveys were not conducted under the same circumstances then it would significantly alter their outcome and therefore have a very different explanation for the numbers of aphibians.
Error: aphibians Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The author of the letter is also falling to the post hoc fallacy as he misinterprets the data from the surveys about the decline of aphibians' species and numbers and the introduction of trouts into the water parks which as mentioned began the same period back in the 75s.
Error: aphibians Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: For example, if the trouts indeed eat eggs but not amphibian ones, only eggs from species that are known to counteract with aphibians then the proposed explanation will not be valid.
Error: aphibians Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
When the essay topic is something like: 'discuss one or more alternative explanations...', it means there are no flaws in the topic which is different to traditional GRE essays.
The pollution could be one reason, there are other reasons like:
Environmental and habitat conditions such as climate, temperature, humidity, water acidity etc. may be responsible for the decline in amphibians, especially the number of species. Perhaps certain species are well adapted to these kind of conditions, while others are less comfortable in these kinds of environment. This may lead to the extinction of the least adapted species.
Moreover, competition among species may also facilitate the decline.
Overpopulation and overcrowding may be reasons too.
more...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 495 350
No. of Characters: 2406 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.717 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.861 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.73 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.19 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5