Write an essay on the following argument.From a letter to the editor of a city newspaper."One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in ou

Essay topics:

Write an essay on the following argument.
From a letter to the editor of a city newspaper.
"One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in our city are actually dissatisfied with their own academic performance. As a way of combating these problems, the high schools in our city should begin classes at 8:30 A.M. instead of 7:30 A.M., and end the school day an hour later. This arrangement will give students an extra hour of sleep in the morning, thereby making them more alert and more productive. Consequently, the students will perform better on tests and other assignments, and their academic skills will improve significantly.

The editor from a city newspaper cites a recent study in which many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting and the editor mentioned another study that sates the effect of first study in which many high school students in their city are actually dissatisfied with their own academic performance, then point out that high school in their city should begin classes at 8:30 A.M. instead of 7:30 A.M., then end the school day one hour later. The writer assumed as a result of an extra hour sleep in the morning, the students’ productivity and satisfaction would be improved. I find this cause and effect specious and I think there are something else that can affect sleep’s hour and student productivity.

The first problem with the argument is that the writer refers to a study but does not mention how many people took part in the study reported. As you know, in research studies the greater the number of the people in the sample, the more reliable and valid the findings are. Maybe in this study only ten people participated; hence, the findings of such a study are neither reliable nor valid. Even if it is assumed that enough people took part in the study, there is still another problem with the sample. In a research study, the findings can be generalized to the target population if the sample used is representative of the concerned population in terms of age, sex, social class, culture, etc; however, in this argument there is no evidence to show whether the sample used was representative of the target population. It follows that the findings of this study cannot be applied to the members of the population without reservations.

This assumption is based one study is the cause of another study; it means that dissatisfaction is because of lack of enough sleep in the students of their city, but maybe this is not true; maybe there are another problems that causes to dissatisfaction. Maybe the teachers of that high school have no knowledge to teach the students; hence, student can not learn any beneficial thing and the students are innocent or maybe in that school there are not good facilities such as labs, libraries, air conditioners, etc. and because of the deficit in facilities the students are dissatisfied and tedious and they do not pay much attention to study in that school.

Let’s suppose that teachers and facilities in that school are great, the writer says that if schools begin one hour later the problem will be solved and the students will be satisfied, but there is no evidence to show that premises is true. It is not known that if school begins one hour later the student can get more sleep than they are getting, maybe the students go to sleep later because watching TV or because going to party or another reasons. Also there is no evidence to show the time 8:30 A.M. that writer suggests is good time for going out from the home, maybe this in time the traffic is jammed and students force to go out at previous time.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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2017-04-17 TOEFL_Taker_2016 66 view
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 457, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ause going to party or another reasons. Also there is no evidence to show the time 8...
^^^^
Line 7, column 633, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'going', 'gonna'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: going; gonna
...he traffic is jammed and students force to go out at previous time.
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, however, if, may, so, still, then, i think, such as, you know, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2473.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 520.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75576923077 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77530192783 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58277106243 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.419230769231 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 756.9 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 22.8473053892 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 91.2657657613 57.8364921388 158% => OK
Chars per sentence: 164.866666667 119.503703932 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.6666666667 23.324526521 149% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.26666666667 5.70786347227 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.325256362586 0.218282227539 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105333551629 0.0743258471296 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0799062690876 0.0701772020484 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.196359425178 0.128457276422 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0948145923702 0.0628817314937 151% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.3 14.3799401198 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.43 48.3550499002 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.197005988 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.92 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 28.5 12.3882235529 230% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 15.6 11.1389221557 140% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.