Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
The argument about purported decline in deer population could not be supported by strong evidence and its result is weak and unreliable. The author could present examples and could render witnesses in order to proving his conclusion. In addition, the author could convince the readers with illustrating the direct effect of global warming on reducing the deer population as a main reason through bringing several persuasive examples.
Searching for food by moving over ice from island to island is a very simplistic view because the most population of deer could swim and feed. The author could consider other ways that the populations of deer use for searching their food. Furthermore, their situations are variable at different regions and it is more likely that their special situation in Canada’s arctic regions lead to choosing easiest way which is traveling over ice. Maybe, if there were not big pieces of ice, the populations of peer have to travel by swimming.
Reliance on the reports of local hunters is not strong evidence because they do not have valuable information about the deer populations. The author could convince the readers with rendering better examples like bringing the scholars reports in order to reinforce his result. Maybe, the local hunters want to reduce their own effect on declining the peer percentage and justify people. It is more likely that their hunters lead to decreasing the most proportion of deer at those regions. The author could investigate certain alternatives like the population of hunters and the amount of plants that the peer consumes. Maybe, decreasing the plants lead to decreasing the migration of peers to these areas.
The author also failed in his conclusion because reliance on weak reports instead of relying on strong reports. The deer populations could find new way to overcome their problems and endure with different kinds of situations by passing years when their age-old migration patterns could not meet their demands. Therefore, failing at following old patterns cannot be a good reason to persuade the readers because animals try to find easiest way to overcome their environmental problems. Although global warming has bad consequences on melting polar ice caps, the most proportion of animals that live there, make an effort to adapt with new situations.
In conclusion, the author could support his argument through presenting statistic numbers to make a correlation between decreasing the peer populations and the effect of global warming. Moreover, the author could bring strong example about wide variety of research and articles in order to show that global warming and melting ice have direct effect on declining the peer populations.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 2246 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.187 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.605 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 180 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.727 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.368 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5