argument essay
The argument claims that in order to improve the financial performance of the national college, the fee price of the students should be raised for the partially government funded courses. Furthermore, the government assumes that when the fees are increased, then not only the revenue of the college will increase, but also the volume of the course will be decreased. The argument manipulates the facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumption for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is weak and has several flaws.
Firstly, the argument states that there should be AN increase in the fees of the partially government courses, to improve the financial performance of the college, this is an invalid statement. As the course is government funded, it is natural that only those people with inadequate finance will be participating in those courses. Poor students join those courses which they can afford it depending on their financial stability. Therefore, raising the amount of fees for government funded courses will result in students backing out from the course, rather being ready to pay the increased fees. Hence, the idea to increase the fees to improve the financial performance of the college will fail to succeed.
Secondly, the argument claims the relation between increase in fee amount and decrease in the volume of workload of the college. This is again an unsupported claim as there is no causal relationship between fee and workload. If at all the college gains finance from external sources to improve the financial status of the college such as by setting up better labs, improving the infrastructure, spending on new courses for the benefits of students etc., there is nothing mentioned in the argument about how to reduce the workload of the college with the help of increased finance. Without convincing answers to the question, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed due to the above mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could have been considerably strengthened, if the author would have clearly mentioned about the specific reasons for the decrease in workload and improving the performance of the college with the help of increment in fee amount. In this particular situation, without any contributing factors and much information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
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Comments
flaw: Sentence-Para
flaw: Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.362 0.50
you didn't argue enough.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 405 350
No. of Characters: 2067 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.486 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.104 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.785 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.824 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.618 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.362 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
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