ARGUMENT ESSAY:
Muscle Man Gym wants to increase women member enrollment. The percentage of women who have monthly memberships is currently only 20%. In order to increase the number of women members, Muscle Man Gym should buy more cardiovascular equipment, because women like to use cardio machines. They should also advertise with pictures of body building women and should lower prices for women members. These methods will increase the number of women members, and will increase profits.
The writer proposes a number of methods to increase the female membership in Muscle Man Gym. The methods proposed are based on the following assumptions : firstly he believes that women are more interested in cardiovascular exercises and not in other forms of gym training, further he assumes putting up female body builder pictures in their advertisements will grab the attention of the prospective female crowd. The writer then states that lowering the price for female members will directly increase the membership.
The fact that women like to use cardiovascular machines does not clearly indic...
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2012-06-01 | luciferabby | 97 | view |
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Sentence: What is it that the gym lacks when compared to the other gyms in the area?
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, accusative
Suggestion: Refer to is and it
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 558 350
No. of Characters: 2662 1500
No. of Different Words: 235 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.86 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.771 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.539 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.317 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.383 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.579 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5