argument:The following appeared as a letter to the editor from the owner of a skate shop in Central Plaza. "Two years ago the city voted to prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. They claimed that
skateboard users were responsible for the litter and vandalism that were keeping other visitors from coming to the plaza. In the past two years, however, there has only been a small increase in the number of visitors to Central Plaza, and litter and vandalism are still problematic.Skateboarding is permitted in Monroe Park, however, and there is no problem with litter or vandalismthere. In order to restore Central Plaza to its former glory,then, we recommend that the city lift its prohibition on skateboarding in the plaza."
First, the admission of skateboarding in the plaza does not necessarily indicate the restoration of its former glory. Perhaps, there are a small part of people who like to see others play skateboard due to its potential dangerous factors, let alone the number of people who prefer to play it by themselves. For that matter,perhaps that even if the city lift its prohibition on skateboarding in the plaza, no much more people will visit the plaza.Besides, no evidences in the letter demonstrate the plaza has been welcomed by the public just because of skateboarding two years ago. So, without explaining these situations which will cause the opposite result ,the author cannot convince me on the recommendation.
Second, the admission of skateboarding in the plaza also does not necessarily indicates the improvement in environment. During the past two years when skateboarding was not allowed,litter and vandalism are still problematic,so perhaps instead of skateboarding users, there are other people who actually should be responsible for the the litter and vandalism. For that matter, the city lift its prohibition on skateboarding in the plaza might not improve the environment there.
Thirdly, the author unfairly assumes that the central plaza and M park under the same conditions, such as they adopt same measures to ensure their surrounding environment and the people who visit M park or plaza have similar environment awareness. Yet, the recommendation contain no evidence to substantiate the assumption, so it is entirely possible that M park use more rigorous ways to deal with the people who against the rules of protecting environment. Thus, no matter how many skateboarding users there, the environment can keep well all along. In contrast, the governances conducted by plaza are loose so that even if there are only a few people playing skateboard,litter and vandalism may not be avoided. In short, it's unfair to compare M park with central plaza.
In sum, the author's recommendation is not persuasive. To bolster it, he must provide better evidences that(1) there are a great number of people who prefer to see or play skateboard in plaza.(2) M park and central plaza use the same measures to protect their environment.
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Sentence: During the past two years when skateboarding was not allowed,litter and vandalism are still problematic,so perhaps instead of skateboarding users, there are other people who actually should be responsible for the the litter and vandalism.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the
Sentence: For that matter, the city lift its prohibition on skateboarding in the plaza might not improve the environment there.
Description: The fragment city lift its is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace lift with verb, past tense
Sentence: Yet, the recommendation contain no evidence to substantiate the assumption, so it is entirely possible that M park use more rigorous ways to deal with the people who against the rules of protecting environment.
Description: The fragment recommendation contain no is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace contain with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12 (0.714 is high)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 366 350
No. of Characters: 1832 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.374 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.005 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.951 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.867 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.376 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.062 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5