The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."
In the memo, the author argues that Super Screen should allocate a greater share of its budget on advertising in order to tract the public and he cites various evidences to bolster it. However, a closer analysis will show otherwise. Thus, the authors need to answer some specific questions to make the argument more sound.
First, it is necessary for the author to answer the amount number of films played in there. The answer of question will show whether the Super Screen have its problems himself. If the number of the film is low, it will weaken the argument. Because the phenomenon of fewer people is not result of the movie company, but due to small number of the film and people have only a few film to watch. In contrast, maybe in two years ago, there are nearly hundred of films played in Super Screen and for people to choose. Thus, it is not to imagine that much more people will go there. In these situation, even if they allocate a greater budget next year on advertising, it will be no affection only if the increase of the amount number of the film in there.
Second, the author also need to answer the precisely price of a ticket. The result of the answer, also, can go another director. If the price of the ticket is higher, even though the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewer about specific Super Screen movies increased, there are a fewer people to go there. Regarding for the people there, maybe the price is the essential factor for them to decide whether to go there or at home watch film, thus if the price is higher than their expected, even though the quality of film there is better, they prefer to watch in home to spare their money. In contrast, if the answer is opposite, there may other factors due to the phenomenon, such as the lack of money on advertising which will strengthen the argument.
Third, the author also need to answer a question about whether there are other movie theatres opened nearly the Super Screen Movie theatre and the abilities of these other theatres. Depending on the result of the question, the arguments can be bolstered or enervated. Because the new started theatres contain better quality of the film,which can compete with Super Screen.
In sum , the argument is unpersuasive, to bolster it , the author needs to answer more specific questions mentioned.
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Sentence: In these situation, even if they allocate a greater budget next year on advertising, it will be no affection only if the increase of the amount number of the film in there.
Description: The fragment the film in is not usually followed by there
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace there with their
Sentence: Second, the author also need to answer the precisely price of a ticket.
Description: The fragment the precisely price is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace precisely with adjective
Sentence: In contrast, if the answer is opposite, there may other factors due to the phenomenon, such as the lack of money on advertising which will strengthen the argument.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, post-determiner
Suggestion: Refer to may and other
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 411 350
No. of Characters: 1866 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.503 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.54 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.244 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.632 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.999 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5