Claim: The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its role models.
Reason: Heroes and role models reveal a society's highest ideals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.
The attribute of a country includes many things such as economy, technology, culture, and education. It is expressed on people’s lives every day, and whether or not each person in this country famous, each of whom is a small part of the society. Therefore, people cannot rely on heroes and role models in order to evaluate a society.
First and foremost, millionaires and CEOs of big companies who success in their businesses in a country cannot represent this country is rich or poor country. In fact, many developing countries where a majority of people are living in a destitute life have a number of rich people, and the gaps between rich people and poor people are increasing day by day. For example, young people not only from Mexico but also from all over the world admire Carlos Slim who is the richest on the world. However, Mexico is a developing country, and many families cannot afford for their children go to school.
Second, education and technology which are essential parts of a society cannot be changed by a few of leaders and heroes. Indeed, many teachers, professors, and workers who have been making good students and improving equipment are not famous, but they have an important role in a society. For instance, Neil Armstrong, the first person have been in the moon is known as a hero, but he could have not gone there if NASA’s engineers and professors had not worked hard in order to invent a perfect aircraft, and no one know these people.
In addition, heroes cannot reflect all aspects of a society because of the different religions and ideas. With the immigration from different countries, American people can from Asia and Euro, so their relationships, their religions, and their languages are not same. Thus a famous person like Bill Gate can present for the curious American, but people cannot find information from him about muslin people and Buddhist.
In conclusion, people proud of heroes and role models in their countries, and the characters of these heroes benefit many people. However, relying on these characters is not enough to fully understand the character of a society.
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Sentence: First and foremost, millionaires and CEOs of big companies who success in their businesses in a country cannot represent this country is rich or poor country.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to who and success
Sentence: With the immigration from different countries, American people can from Asia and Euro, so their relationships, their religions, and their languages are not same.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to can and from
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 359 350
No. of Characters: 1711 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.353 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.766 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.485 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.933 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.169 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.933 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.605 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5