Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
In this issue, the author has claimed that since the major cities are the main places for a nation's cultural traditions growth, the governments should support those cities financially and help them thrive. Considering the fact that I agree with the government's responsibility to support cultural traditions and to preserve the indigenous ethics of a country, I do not find it credible that they are major cities which should be supported in order to thrive the cultural traditions.
First and foremost, the author has assert that the governments should support their major cities financially, while these cites can often be completely independent in making money since there are a great deal of businesses inside them. These cities are almost wealthy and there is no need for a government to spend its economical budget on supporting them, while there are many other substantiate expenses and economical crisis in almost any country.
Another significant fact which should be taken into consideration is that the most important places which actually preserve the traditions in any country are not the major cities, but the rural parts or the small towns. Nowadays, almost, any big city look like the other. New York, Montreal, New Mexico and many other big cities have many similarities in diverse aspects. Because of the advances in technology and the social medias, not only the structures and constructions of many of these cities are analog, the people's clothing is also the same. Whenever, some styles become popular in Paris, or New York people of all around the world will buy and wear the same style. Therefore, I do not believe that big cities are preserving the traditions of any country. On the contrary, in rural parts, most of the people live as their ancestors did decades ago, they live much more traditionally and more concern about their cultural ethics.
The issue should also consider that ,while big cities are independent in making money and are wealthy, rural areas and small towns are often vulnerable in financial aspects. People of these areas are not very rich and the whole town or village is often governed with a considerably small amount of money, which is barely sufficient for the conventional expenses of that area. In many of undeveloped countries, these rural areas have limited access to fresh water, electricity power and many other fundamental requirements for a normal life. Since these people are remained more isolated they are more traditional and therefore, they are the main people who preserve a country's cultural values. So, they deserve to live in better conditions by getting financial support from the governments.
Finally, I agree with this part of the author's claim that the governments are responsible for saving the cultural traditions in any country. Preserving the culture of a nation is absolutely valuable and is necessary for the survival of any nation. By enhances in technology in last decades, and the use of internet all around the world people are subject to the western culture in diverse ways and attitudes. Life of people in China, India, Iran, France and Canada is becoming more and more the same, we should not forget that the distinct culture of any nation is necessary for sense of dignity and pride of people of that nation. They need individual identity and the best way to gain this sense is by clinging to their own cultures and ethics. This big task cannot be done without the supports of the governments.
By sum it all up, I agree with this issue insofar as the governments should help preserving the cultural traditions of any nation. I believe other parts of the argument is not credible, since big cities are independent in financial matters and do not need the governments' support and also these big cities are not preserving the cultural traditions of nations, the rural parts, which are more meritorious of being supported, are the principle places to save the culture and traditions of any country, and therefore the governments should support them in order to better to be able to play their role in such a great task.
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Sentence: First and foremost, the author has assert that the governments should support their major cities financially, while these cites can often be completely independent in making money since there are a great deal of businesses inside them.
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to has and assert
Sentence: On the contrary, in rural parts, most of the people live as their ancestors did decades ago, they live much more traditionally and more concern about their cultural ethics.
Description: The fragment more traditionally and is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace traditionally with adjective
Sentence: Because of the advances in technology and the social medias, not only the structures and constructions of many of these cities are analog, the people's clothing is also the same.
Error: medias Suggestion: media
flaws:
No. of Words: 685 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 685 350
No. of Characters: 3358 1500
No. of Different Words: 269 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.116 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.902 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.621 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 232 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 159 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 116 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.542 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.731 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5