Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author assumes that to enable omega graduates to secure better jobs, the university should terminate student's evaluation of professors. It may sound convincing at first glance, but the argument is rife with holes and assumptions and thus not strong enough. So, the author has to provide ample evidences to support his assumptions to be true.
First of all, the main assumption underlying the author's conclusion is about the relationship between higher grades and the evaluation of teaching effectiveness of all professors. It may be true in some cases like the professors might have implemented new teaching methods to improve the student's understanding and score better. If we focus on other side, we can also assume that student's might have given wrong evaluation about their professors because of fear and the professors might also have given higher grades to the students because of good teaching evaluation. So, the author has to provide strong evidence to support his assumption. He could have provide the evidence the like what evaluation method has been used by the students to evaluate the professors and under what circumstances the students have evaluated the professors. In addition, whether the marks given to the student's is evaluated by one professor or more than one. Because, the evaluation varies from person to person. So, to reinforce the argument the author should have discussed all these things.
Secondly, the author assumes that potential employers looking at the dramatic rise in grades, believes that grades at omega university are inflated and do not accurately reflect student's achievement which resulted in failure of getting jobs to the omega university students when compared to Alpha university. This may sounds convincing at first glance, but various factors should be taken into consideration to prove this assumption to be true. The student's of Omega university may have less interpersonal skills or might have lot of tension and fear while attending interview so they might have forgotten all the topics which they have prepared for interview & we can also imply that because of anxiety they might not have done well in the interview, though they have higher grades in their graduation. So, these might be the reasons for not getting job. The Alpha university students might have all these skills, so they might have got the job. To reinforce the argument the author should have discussed about the comparison of the skills of students from Omega university and Alpha university.
Summing up, the author might be correct in his argument that the increased grades of the students are a result of the evaluation scheme and the students might have given good evaluation because of fear of their professors and in turn the professors also might have given good grades to the students in showing concern for giving them good evaluation. In addition, the author did not provide the various skills of the student's from Omega university and Alpha university to secure a job. Thus, if he had provided all these evidences, the argument might have become strong and valid.
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Comments
Thanks a lot for your
Thanks a lot for your valuable comment. This is my first argument essay written within 30 minutes. Can you please tell me in which in which all areas I am weak, so that I can improve my score. I will surely look into my grammatical errors. Other than that if there is any flaws, please correct me.
1. Try to put three arguments
1. Try to put three arguments instead of two.
2. Focus on one thing in one argument.
3. Try to read other argument essays and you will understand more.
Sentence: He could have provide the evidence the like what evaluation method has been used by the students to evaluate the professors and under what circumstances the students have evaluated the professors.
Description: A verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to have and provide
Sentence: This may sounds convincing at first glance, but various factors should be taken into consideration to prove this assumption to be true.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to may and sounds
Sentence: The student's of Omega university may have less interpersonal skills or might have lot of tension and fear while attending interview so they might have forgotten all the topics which they have prepared for interview & we can also imply that because of anxiety they might not have done well in the interview, though they have higher grades in their graduation.
Description: The tag a noun, singular, common, genitive is not usually followed by of
Suggestion: Refer to student's and of
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 504 350
No. of Characters: 2563 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.738 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.085 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.665 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 187 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.747 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.497 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.127 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5