The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many accidents is fatigue caused by sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta, we recommend shortening each of our three work shifts by one hour. If we do this, our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The memo sent out by the vice president of Alta Manufaturing describes the recent amount of on-the-job accidents. The past year there have been thirty percent more accidents than nearby Panoply and the VP contributes this to the longer shifts the employees at Alta manufacturing make compared to their colleagues at Panoply. This might be a correct conclusion, however first some questions should be asked to find out if the statistics used are not misinterpreted and if it is indeed sleep deprivation that has a negative influence on the number of accidents in Alta Manufacturing.
First of all th...
flaws:
No. of Words: 655 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
better to have 5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction.
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 655 350
No. of Characters: 3136 1500
No. of Different Words: 250 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.059 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.788 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.698 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 109 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 90 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.259 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.115 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5