The following appeared as part of petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group.“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essent

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The following appeared as part of petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group.

“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit.

The argument , that selling land to the Smith Corporation will be a disastrous for population, may seem tenable at first glance. However, the conclusion relies on assumption for which there is no clear evidence and on terms that lack definition.

First and foremost, the environmental protection group assumes that construction of a small hotel will destroy all the area surroundings, but there are no supportive arguments. How will building definitely influence on the birds species? Will the birds migrate to the more convenient territory or to die at all?

Suppose, that the main problem of consequences for sanctuary lies in the process of construction. For example, the protection group assumes that the noise from building activity or dust will irritate birds. In consideration of the newest modern technologies in construction this kinds of irritation can be eliminated. The silencer can help to avoid din and canvas or polyethylene cover can help to abate air pollution.<br>

The argument that the company beforehand will not implement their plan of saving the sanctuary must be strengthened considerably if the protection group has any providing agreements with the company. If actually this agreement exists and the company will not adhere to the agreement, the Smith Corporation will be prosecuted by law.

Additionally, the group provides no evidence that this hotel will be non-profitable establishment. As it is mentioned in memo, this city directs their economy to attendance of tourists. The appearing of a small hotel can provide higher level of tourism, because tourists can arrive to the sanctuary and they have a place where to stay. Moreover, there is a good promotion for people to live in a sanctuary zone.

After all, an environmental group has lack of evidence their assumption about dependence of building a hotel and the population of birds. Finally, the protection group needs to justify why it can be harmful consequences for the area and why there is no benefit for tourists.

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Sentence: How will building definitely influence on the birds species?
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to will and building

Sentence: After all, an environmental group has lack of evidence their assumption about dependence of building a hotel and the population of birds.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to evidence and their

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Sentence Length SD: 5.493 7.5
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.036 0.07

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 322 350
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No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.236 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.102 4.6
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 5.493 7.5
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.036 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5