The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava."The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students en

In the argument above, the planning committee of Calratrave city stated that due to the declining birth, their recommendation is to reduce funding budgets for public schools education and recreational facilities.Although it might seem logical at first glance, there is a need to evaluate the evidences on which the recommendation was based.

First, the committee assumes that the birth rate in the city is the main or the only contributing factor for
the number of students enrolled to the public schools. Yet, there are othe factors which should be taking into account before making a drastic move as reducing future budgets to to public schools. First, the percentage of student who arrive from nearby cities. If this number is significant, it would be advised to turn to look at nearby cities and see whether their birth rates number are alos declining. In that case, it can be considerd to reduce future funds for public schools.

Another contributing factor to the number of students enrolled to the public schools which should be addressed is future developing planes for Calratrave city. If significant amount of new residens are assumed to move in the city in the next 10 years, maybe the public shools budgets should even increase in order to make room for more students.

Secondly, the committee assumes that children are the is the main or the only users of athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. It will be a great resourch for the committee if they will order a survey among the adults at Calratrave city before making this move. For example, it may be found that the adults use more often and even enjoy greatly the athletic playing fields and recreational facilities rather then the adult programs offerd by the city. Also, as in public schools, it should be examined whether adults from nearby cities enjoy the athletic playing fields and recreational facilities.

In sum, it is clear that the committee needs to evaluate additional evidence before the city implements their recommendations. Cutting the city budgets at this time, for an hypothetical situation that might happen in ten years, might have bad consecuintions if they hold to be false.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Sentence: Yet, there are othe factors which should be taking into account before making a drastic move as reducing future budgets to to public schools.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to to and to

Sentence: Secondly, the committee assumes that children are the is the main or the only users of athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to the and is

Sentence: Yet, there are othe factors which should be taking into account before making a drastic move as reducing future budgets to to public schools.
Error: othe Suggestion: other

Sentence: If this number is significant, it would be advised to turn to look at nearby cities and see whether their birth rates number are alos declining.
Error: alos Suggestion: also

Sentence: In that case, it can be considerd to reduce future funds for public schools.
Error: considerd Suggestion: considered

Sentence: If significant amount of new residens are assumed to move in the city in the next 10 years, maybe the public shools budgets should even increase in order to make room for more students.
Error: shools Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: residens Suggestion: resident

Sentence: For example, it may be found that the adults use more often and even enjoy greatly the athletic playing fields and recreational facilities rather then the adult programs offerd by the city.
Error: offerd Suggestion: offered

Sentence: Cutting the city budgets at this time, for an hypothetical situation that might happen in ten years, might have bad consecuintions if they hold to be false.
Error: consecuintions Suggestion: No alternate word

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1789 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.942 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.661 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.716 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.625 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5