The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of
Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades,
food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise
in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
In this letter the author points out that numbers of headaches will be decreased due to using more Salicyiates as flavor for foods. To bolster this assertation, the article renders the evidence that using Salicyiates has been found to correlate with decline in number of headaches reported by participants in 20 year study. To support the projection that further use of Salicyiates can continue to decrease headaches, the author also mentions that comapanies have found that they can also utilize Salicyiates as flavor. Close scrutiny of each of those evidence reveals that none of them lends credible support to the conclusion as it stands.
The author relies on an ambiguous study to reach its conclusion. First, it does not indicate the population of people who participated in study each year. It is entirely possible that the respondents had declined during the study. If so, decreasing of headaches did not relate to the using of Salicyiates. Second, we are not informed how participants in survey reported their headaches. If it turns out, for instance, that some of them had used other drugs during some years of study that affected their headaches, then the author’s conclusion is uncalled for.
Another problem with the argument is that the author seems to assume that with new use of Salicyiates as flavor in food, number of headaches will decline, but he ignors other possible effects. Perhaps the same course of action would be in ineffective. For instance, if it transpires that more Salicyiates can combine with other chemical materials in food and produce hazardous material, then the projection is unjustified.
In sum, the argumnet relies on doubtful assumptions and vague study that renders it unconvincing and ill grounded as it stands. To persuade me that further use of Salicyiates can decrease headaches, the author must provide more information about how it will work and whether it has more side effects or not. To empower the assertation that using Salicyiates as preservatives had declined headaches, the article also needs to supply better study under appropriate condition.
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Sentence: To support the projection that further use of Salicyiates can continue to decrease headaches, the author also mentions that comapanies have found that they can also utilize Salicyiates as flavor.
Error: comapanies Suggestion: companies
Sentence: In sum, the argumnet relies on doubtful assumptions and vague study that renders it unconvincing and ill grounded as it stands.
Error: argumnet Suggestion: argument
Sentence: To empower the assertation that using Salicyiates as preservatives had declined headaches, the article also needs to supply better study under appropriate condition.
Error: assertation Suggestion: No alternate word
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 340 350
No. of Characters: 1729 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.294 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.085 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.782 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.878 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5