Issue Topic #2: School should do more to prepare students for the non-academic aspects of adulthood.
The author contends that schools ought to make more attempts to get the students ready for non-academic sides of adulthood. This is a contention with which I generally agree for following reasons.
To begin with, it is obvious that the most of post-scholastic life is non-academic. Various moments with which we might face through our life have least to do with our academic knowledge. Let’s take the example of an individual who wants to start a family. Of course, it has been a huge step in every one’s life; he or she should learn how to love someone else, how to convey it, and how to commit to each other for the rest of their life. For instance, to buy a new place to live in, the academic knowledge and skills about budgeting or architecture offer help to them at once to decide about buying an economical house, but in critical situations, for example, when they have not enough money, the passionate and commitment could help them survive from the plight.
Meanwhile, the non-academic features can undoubtedly influence academic performance. Markedly, to study the history or economics, it is important to develop the abilities of critical thinking, cultural tolerance, and gender acceptance. In fact, it is necessary to make unbiased judgments for construing the history genuinely. In another case, all students should have the ability of self-discipline in order to pass exams, and manage their time to assign it appropriately into academic matters and extracurricular activities. Especially in the college, students become overwhelmed with a lot of jobs, and who lacks of the self-discipline ability is easily going to get shattered.
However, some may hold the opinion that today’s jobs become specialized more and more, and it necessitates a more focus on the academic aspects in schools. These people think that the only way to stay in the universal economic competition is more emphasis on courses like math and science. By contrast, it turns out that even the most advanced companies claim that mental abilities and flexibilities such as team working and deep commitment are more important than pure academic knowledge. In fact, today’s companies need employees who are able to communicate suitably and can help the management of the company in crisis mentally.
To conclude, by taking into account all these factors we may come to reach the result that it is reasonable for schools to consider non-academic aspects of adulthood into their academic program since it could prepare students for future life, also it is essential to make a better academic performance in school. Additionally, in spite of more specialized jobs which offer by companies today, they need some people who are capable socially and mentally as well as academically.
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Comments
thank you for rating. why
thank you for rating.
why cannit I use the pattern sentence you mentioned?
ETS has an essay e-rater too.
ETS has an essay e-rater too. It will figure out those pattern sentences easily and you will lose credits.
it does not make any
it does not make any difference if I take the paper-based exam?
The difference is that we are
The difference is that we are more comfortable to paper based test. The marks may not have difference.
flaws:
The second paragraph is not closely related to the essay topic.
Don't use the pattern sentence, like 'To conclude, by taking into account all these factors we may come to reach the result'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5