Many lives might be saved if inoculation against cow flu were routinely administered to all people in areas where disease is detected. However, since there is a small possibility that a person will die as a result of the inoculations, we cannot permit inoculations against cow flu to be routinely administered.
The author of the passage is mainly concerned with the life of people. He has stated that the inoculations against disease cow flu should be regularly administered. But in the very next sentence he has contradicted his own statement and said that inoculations may cause loss of lives of people though on small case so it should not be carried out.
The above argument is weak as author has put two contradictory statements. He is definitely worried about the lives of people for which he has mentioned to carry out inoculations. But in this he has not provided the statistics to substantiate the findings. He could have mentioned the number of people getting affected by cow flu and what is the severity of that disease. The passage does not provide any proof that the people have died because of cow flu. This weakens the author’s assumption.
Secondly in the second line he has mentioned that the there a small possibility of death of a person if inoculation is carried out. The ratio of number of deaths to number of people affected could have strengthened his conclusion. He has also not mentioned any experiment to carry out the test vaccination against cow flu. If he mentions the details of the experiment initially carried out then depending upon the results of the experiment we can conclude if the vaccination can be carried out or not.
Author has not mentioned the impact of the disease on the population. Also has not mentioned the reasons because of which the disease is spreading. We can carry out the preventive measures in such a way that disease will not spread out. Some diseases like polio paralyze a person’s body. Much research was done and finally WHO came up with the inoculation of polio in many countries where this disease has affected people. This inoculation did not had the fatal effect on people. In the similar fashion the research can be carried out for cow flu and then decision can be taken.
To summarize, Author has not considered all the factors related to the disease cow flu such as its impact, its intensity and its effect on people and reached to the conclusion without any substantial data. He also had contradicted his own statement and thus made the argument weaker.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2013-10-03 | snehal hiwase | 60 | view |
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Sentence: Secondly in the second line he has mentioned that the there a small possibility of death of a person if inoculation is carried out.
Description: The fragment the there a is rare
Sentence: Some diseases like polio paralyze a person's body.
Description: The fragment polio paralyze a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace paralyze with verb, past tense
Sentence: This inoculation did not had the fatal effect on people.
Description: The word had is not usually used as a verb 'to have', past participle
Suggestion: Refer to had
flaws:
Not right on the point.
Read a good sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/many-lives-might-be-saved-if-inoc…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 383 350
No. of Characters: 1801 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.424 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.702 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.682 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.409 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.72 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5