The Mozart School of Music should obviously be the first choice of any music student aware of its reputation. First of all, the Mozart School stresses intensive practice and training, so that students typically begin their training at a very young age. Second, the school has ample facilities and up-to-date professional equipment, and its faculty includes some of the most distinguished music teachers in the world. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to be the best known and most highly paid musicians in the nation.
The author claims that the Mozart School of Music must be chosen by students because first, the trainings for young student are intensive. Second, the school has adequate facilities and professional faculties who are the most well-known musicians in the world. Third, the graduates from the school can participate in chiefly paid musicians in the nation. However, this statement does not seem to be very convincing and there are a lot of questions which must be taken into account and be answered. The following questions and probablities must be considered.
First, he/she mentiones that since the Mozart School emphasizes in rigorous practice and the students are obliged to start training at the young age, the students should choose it as their school! But, some questions will be raised. Is it enough to just have an intense training? Or the school should firstly provide some introductionary of theories and make an scheduling for training? Since it is not very delighted for most of young people that just do an intense training because they will soon get bored, it would be better that chool considers some other lateral works such as going to the musical musuims or participating in live concerts in addition of hard training.
Secondly, another question is that are facilities and instruments merely will lead the students to be good at their performance? Are the number of facilities and instruments related to the number of students? And the most important question is that are the faculties who are the most famous musicians in the world, also the best teachers and instructors? In most cases, it has been shown that people who are masters in their major, for example a good mathematical scientist, is not a proper teacher. In fact, teaching skill is another issue.
As a summary, the reasons for the statement that the students should choose Mozart School as their musical school are very weak and need to be more expanded and discussed in details. Moreover, there are a vast number of questions which must be answered in this case.
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Sentence: Or the school should firstly provide some introductionary of theories and make an scheduling for training?
Error: introductionary Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Since it is not very delighted for most of young people that just do an intense training because they will soon get bored, it would be better that chool considers some other lateral works such as going to the musical musuims or participating in live concerts in addition of hard training.
Error: chool Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: musuims Suggestion: museums
flaws:
Need three arguments according to the statement.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1668 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.863 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.618 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.176 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.189 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.765 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5